@jo7iah: #FYP #Relationship #Boundaries #Healing

Valerie 🦋 Going Inward :

It also makes you an enabler if you constantly take responsibility for something they have to heal in themselves

JLynn 2.0 :

I’d also like to add… it’s easier to respect boundaries if those boundaries are actually communicated. I think it’s unfair to expect someone to respect boundaries if you are not comfortable sharing them in the first place. (I just got out of a relationship with an avoidant). He never advocated for himself… not a singular time. I genuinely mean that. Not once. I had no clue what his boundaries were. He never once told me what he had issues with- not even when he broke up with me. It was all just 1 big guessing game and it drove me absolutely mental. So I should’ve respected myself enough and left because I knew the constant not knowing where I stand or what’s going on was driving me into a spiral. But I didn’t. I just stayed and let it drive me nuts.

Risto :

Everyone survives security. What matters is danger. If you can’t adapt to danger you die. Not having boundaries is itself a self-protective strategy.

TheAttachmentAdvocate :

I don’t believe that someone who doesn’t have a strong healthy relationship with their emotions and internal world can consistently know their authentic wants and needs. Without that awareness, it’s difficult to create boundaries from an authentic place. Instead, what often develops are boundaries that are primarily self-protective, designed to minimize vulnerability rather than reflect genuine values or needs. I wouldn’t call that a strong relationship with boundaries. I’d call it protection and rigid, externally focused control. Boundaries that emerge from fear are not the same as boundaries that emerge from self-knowledge, and what I would consider true self-knowledge takes exposure, learning, and integration.

duck :

Relationships also provide a neutral ground for growth. Wording it as a "responsibility" feels as if it completely disregards the fact that both individuals would have habits they typically rely on that they now have the opportunity to change with the person they're with. it's not responsibility, it's just growth. if the person doesn't want to change, then it would be a case where they want you to be responsible which is a definite no, but there are commonly cases where people have these traits, their partner points it out to them, and they work through it together without it feeling like a.... 'responsibility', because they want to change. persons with any negative habit can't help the hand they were dealt, and those habits usually stem from that

Dee :

You talking about a codependent person?

Emily 🌹💐 :

meee! I finally learnt boundaries and how to implement them and stick to them a week ago lol

Adieff ⚢ :

I tried to be thorough with 2 friends who desperately needed personal boundaries bc they were constantly people pleasing, overextending, abandoning themselves etc and taking a lot of anger and insecurity out on me. I eventually fully distanced myself bc they need to do that on their own.

Miss Hope 🇿🇦 :

Oh I had to learn this! I fought to love myself enough to be by myself, I was self hating and unaware, I was love addicted and depended on validation to be okay, was anxiously attached, would be people pleasing and was always performative. I took 2 years of therapy, every at Monday 1pm and as uncomfortable and painful as it was to unlearn and learn new ways to loving including loving myself. I am finally healthy, get triggers here and there but we are healing and have boundaries. My no is no and I have no and often do not give a reason why my answer is no. I love being healthy, my nervous system recognizes it and I am more relaxed now and my breathing is no longer shallow neither are my emotional reactions the same, I now respond instead of reacting. Being healed is beautiful 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

clau :

what if it's a marriage and one person is physically impaired from a car accident, you do you take responsibility then?

Bubblychris :

This is a really valuable perspective. I have discovered I have an anxious attachment over this year, and that made me realise a lot of my life has been built around self sacrifice, to the point where it upsets me when people don’t let me. I’m trying to heal that and learn to be kinder and more authentic to myself, but it’s very much a long road as these things are learnt from attachment wounds you get as a child. Anyway people will only get defensive of this if they haven’t come to terms with it themselves. It’s easy to demonise avoidant attachment, but anxious is just as bad, just a different flavour. Both need to learn to become secure, well that’s my goal anyway. Great video!

MegantronSkyla :

I chalk it up to natural selection when I yeet 😭😂

Tosin :

Learning this is freedom truly.

KJR :

when it's a parent 🙄

jo7iah :

Not to mention the backlash from the people who benefit from them not having boundaries 😬😬😬

TASH | 🤎👩🏾‍💻✨ :

Dr. Nedra's Set Boundaries, Find Peace set the stage for me.

HANAKO :

Facts

Amber 🧸🫧💫 :

literally

🐦‍🔥Ҏ𝕙𝒐ϵ𝗇𝖎x_ 𝗦𝗈ℓ❌🔥⚠️👻 :

Solid example💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

onnieonyx :

Kate ♌️ :

You ain’t wrong king ….

XenBeenHere :

I agree.

Exhausted :

So true love how you broke this down