Robyn Holdaway
Region: GB
Sunday 26 July 2026 20:17:56 GMT
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kayla veltman :
went my ex came out as trans (mtf) it wasn't a huge shock per day but it did hurt alot on the inside. I felt sadness and grief at the life and future I'd had planned in my head for us. I also realized that I was straight and it would've been unfair to them to continue the relationship. I could support them as a friend or from a distance but not as their partner anymore. and that realization hurt too. 5yrs together. I tried to stay and help them but I needed to leave for my own sake and seek therapy.
2026-07-31 01:15:42
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Deborah R :
thankyou for your honesty and for opening up discussions around this :)
2026-07-29 20:13:09
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zdallin :
It's really hard to add emotional load onto someone you love when they're already dealing with a lot. There's this "I can deal with my stuff later, they need the support now" feeling. It's really hard to reshape that to a healthier perspective.
2026-07-30 05:31:28
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kt 👽🍉 :
I also dont think that theres enough out there about people who embraced and had no problems with their partners transition from the start! I didnt have any of these thoughts if I'm honest, I was just incredibly happy that my partner had found herself and I love her so it didnt matter to me how she presented or identified because it was still hurt. it does help that I was incredibly comfortable in my bisexuality before and had been friends or on dates with trans people before and certainly I've mostly been with gender non conforming people so it wasn't absolutely new. and I was actually more educated about trans issues than my partner so it was great that I could share the resources and love ❤️just wanted to share this side of it too.
2026-07-29 17:10:14
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Didelphic Lunacy 🇦🇺 :
I found as well that for the person on the receiving end of the coming out, it comes as an enormous surprise/shock. for the trans person, they've been thinking about this and working through it for quite a while before it's externalised. for us on the other side, it hits like that freight train in Inception. and it's like "ok, my house has just been raided, everything is everywhere, and yes, everything is still here and I can get it all tidied up and put to rights, but omg there's so much, and I don't even know where to start"
2026-07-29 13:44:07
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Mini Hobbit :
Very important conversation to have. Brilliant to hear your experience Em.
2026-07-26 20:32:52
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JD 🇦🇺 :
As the father of an amazing trans woman this is so relatable. The feeling of not knowing your own child is gut wrenching, and there’s a feeling of not being able to discuss it with them, or anyone else for fear of creating more anxiety for them or saying stupid things. Experienced parents need to support those who are just beginning that journey.
2026-07-27 22:22:33
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Abby Huntley :
I love the measured, honest, transparent, nuanced way you speak about this
2026-07-26 21:54:01
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Tabby :
when my best friend came out as trans my immediate reaction was to support her but I did need to take time away fron the friendship to process it myself but I communicated with her that I was always coming back to her and her friendship. and I did. we're still best friends now and never been stronger - communication is important!
2026-07-26 20:43:27
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Tealeaf :
It’s so interesting to hear from other people who have experienced their partner coming out. For me the hardest part was reevaluating how I refer to the relationship in my mind while also not being able to talk openly about it because my partner wasn’t out to anyone else. I tried to think of it as having a girlfriend while the rest of the world didn’t see it that way. Also becoming more and more aware of the transfobia in the world (of course I knew of it and hated it but now it physically hurt if that makes sense). Feels good that we’re not alone in this though
2026-07-26 20:52:29
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GA :
How long had you been together before this conversation
2026-07-26 23:38:58
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Ruby Jean 𝟏𝟑⸆⸉ ོ :
This isn’t anything to do with the video but what do you and em do for work outside of social media?
2026-07-27 07:26:38
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scorchbob :
You 2 are fantastic ❤️
2026-07-26 21:57:07
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₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ :
off topic but where did you get your shirt? its looks so good!!
2026-07-26 20:33:10
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Vala :
I swear I gave my (cis) wife far more grace about her reaction than she has done herself. She's been so annoyed with herself for so many of the little things and the things she felt even as she was my best ally from the beginning. She helped me with everything yet she's annoyed with herself for e.g. crying when I shaved my beard. As if she wasn't supposed to have complex emotions about her partner of over 15 years was transitioning. Thanks for talking about this, and I do think we need to not ignore what that's like to go through. It's not the same, but it's absolutely valid to struggle with it.
2026-07-29 08:24:43
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AnnieLou :
Thank you for putting this into such profound and helpful words. As the mother of a trans son, I have always accepted him while also finding it a little overwhelming at times to navigate the changes that it brought about for me. I love the way you put it - that it changes the interaction you have with them. It’s refreshing to be able to express that while also fully supporting my boy.
2026-07-27 12:38:56
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lil :
I love you both so much and as a non-binary person myself you guys make me feel that little bit less alone in this
2026-07-26 20:39:48
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Tim Kirk :
It is striking to me that most of my trans friends have partners who've supported them. Still involved (most are AMAB, but not all.) I was the second person several of them came out to, because their partners deserved quite truly to know first.
2026-07-27 00:17:05
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Sierra Curtis Turtle :
Thank you for giving us all a safe space
2026-07-27 02:17:31
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Amy almond :
I really appreciate your honesty on all of these things, it really helps ❤️
2026-07-27 08:23:36
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chris scott :
Particularly now, the pressure to fully accept a change in someone you know - be it sexuality or gender - is immense and impractical. You're absolutely right that we need to find ways to give space to loved ones to figure out how they feel.
2026-07-26 21:23:31
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summer :
What does non binary and transmasc even mean
2026-07-26 21:37:06
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SupremeDragonOverlord :
I always worry about my trans peeps, it seems like and it confuses me - that before they transition, they struggle with some depression and disconnect, but then afterwards - it seems to crush them moreso. I know, hypothetically- they should be happier, I want so very much for them to be happy. But it seems to shift from a bad week a month, to having very few good days. Stuff that didn't sadden them before, ruins their whole week. For example, they have a breakdown because there is a mirror in the hotel room or because a dog didn't like them. Like, I know the sadness is because they aren't being perceived like they wanted - but before, those things didn't sadden them? So I don't understand why it's not better for them, if they're doing what they want and look more like they desire. I know it's rocky, and ain't perfect - but wouldn't halfway good be better than before, which they said was all bad?
2026-07-27 02:51:45
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Vayastar115.2 :
As a mum of a recently trans kid thank you for this conversation. Much of it is valuable in my space as well. Yet I feel like I can’t talk about it freely. I love my kid very very much and wish to support them in anyway possible BUT I also have my own feelings/ grief to navigate (I don’t know if grief if the right word) plus the extras that go along with raising teens in general. Communicating with my own peers about it has been an experience. Many who I thought would “understand” (vocal pride ally’s) have been not as open as I would have hoped. Others have more cool with it that I would have expected.
2026-07-29 23:12:00
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thechevymom :
As the mom of a Trans masc child thank you for saying this so well. They are, and always have been, just my magical child. Love you both as well. 🥰
2026-07-29 00:07:20
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