Dxvidz :
i loved you, Nicole i really did. not in the loud, reckless way, but in the way a man stays when it would’ve been easier to leave. i fought for us quietly, consistently, with patience i didn’t even know i had. i bent parts of myself just to make space for you, and i never once thought of it as a loss back then. i thought love was supposed to hurt a little, supposed to ask you to endure but loving you didn’t save us. effort didn’t turn into a miracle. all that wanting, all that choosing, still wasn’t enough to change the ending. and that’s the part i keep sitting with, the idea that you can do everything right and still lose someone. no grand betrayal. just two people wanting different things at different depths i replay everything in my head, not because i think i can fix it, but because part of me refuses to let it be small. what we had mattered to me. you mattered to me. i hate how easy it looks from the outside, like it was just another story that ended. it wasn’t. it lived in me. it shaped the way i speak, the way i wait, the way i love now i don’t blame myself the way i used to. i showed up. i stayed honest. i loved you in the only way i knew how, fully, even when it scared me. if that wasn’t enough, then maybe it was never about my lack, but about timing, about alignment, about things no amount of fighting could fix i’ll miss you without chasing you. i’ll remember you without reopening wounds. and one day, the yearning will soften into something quieter, not gone, just gentler. until then, i’ll let myself feel it. because loving you was real, and losing you doesn’t erase that I think for the longest time, I was in denial. I kept telling myself that I was okay, that I had already moved on, that what we had didn’t affect me anymore. but deep down, I knew there was still a part of me holding on. I just didn’t want to admit it before. you were my best love, and that’s something that will always mean a lot to me. you were the first person who made me feel that kind of happiness, the kind that felt real and safe and exciting all at once. for a long time, I thought I would never be able to move past that, like a part of me would always be stuck back then.
2026-07-28 01:37:50