IMMATERIA: Notes + Hot Takes
Region: US
Monday 27 July 2026 22:23:10 GMT
94015
18726
319
1262
Music
Download
Comments
Bri 💕 :
it’s called enmeshment.
2026-07-28 01:31:51
213
Ace :
Everything always goes back to my damn parents 😭 I’m so tired of trying to work through what they caused
2026-07-28 01:44:43
2879
__Txne :
They taught us fear and fear through religion also
2026-07-28 09:30:16
1429
🐈⬛🐈⬛ :
yes dude, even now im afraid of doing anything by myself or doing something without being told because im still afraid of doing it wrong and being scolded/looking stupid
2026-07-28 14:34:19
1140
BP :
They still doubt my decision. I’ve realized that it’s stunted me and I deal with enmeshment issues. Every decision I make makes me doubt I can do smth correctly
2026-07-28 06:14:25
183
bambysavage :
anytime I made a decision on my own it was nothing but doubt from them. then when I'd ask for guidance it was "figure it out yourself". 🙄 exhausting
2026-07-28 05:11:34
216
Rae :
When I left home I second guessed every decision I made. For a long time I struggled with making decisions without talking to several people so I could be sure I was making the “right decision”. I was well into my 20s. It’s like they don’t understand that the control and social isolation makes you incapable of functioning like an adult. Then they wonder why you’re having so many issues 🙄
2026-07-28 02:05:20
701
WestchesterLatina :
Once you can shame people you can control them . Control is energy
2026-07-27 22:55:30
891
A⭐️ :
You lose the ability to make your own decisions but also just stop thinking for yourself and end up constantly looking at what others are doing to figure out what you want for yourself 🥲
2026-07-28 14:56:47
149
Melissa :
Also add your parent volunteering you to others so they look good. And it’s not even a thought to ask you to do it.
2026-07-28 17:13:00
238
user24902112244557 :
my parents did this without religion... so even more or less sadistic?
2026-08-01 04:23:39
0
Valle :
PREEACCHH 🥰 It’s like I learned helpnesses 🥺
2026-07-31 21:35:01
0
Skylarrr 🐍 :
thought i had no trauma related to this. my therapist asked if ive ever disagreed with my parents and I genuinely couldn’t access any memories where I did. She asked me to imagine it and I had a breakdown. aha. i’ve never spoken up for myself.
2026-07-28 03:17:05
265
ohey :
“Honor your father and your mother” might be the biggest challenge in learning how to accept this truth you’re speaking unto making the necessary changes to not continue the cycle, all while still honoring the God above. Meaning it’ll be our strong emotions/traumas vs God’s graceful reality check.
2026-07-31 21:38:52
1
Kiki💫 :
I’m 30 and I still struggle with making decisions on my own without consulting with others
2026-07-30 12:08:17
1
sarahjane_;) :
They don’t see their children as a human.. We’re seen as an extension of them.. We’re not the same at all..❤️❤️
2026-07-28 00:05:03
196
Zaza :
It makes you think you can only make money by being obedient and useful to others. You don’t trust that you can ask and receive..it makes you distrust yourself and the universe.
2026-07-28 06:43:11
85
mush🍄 :
i live at my brothers house, right. i was told by him to clean the bathroom, i said "okay, lemme finish what im doing" he found it so disrespectful that he decided to fight me, hes 30, im 15. ppl and the police justified it by said "hes the man of the house, you shouldve just listened". they see me as disrespectful because id put myself before anyone else.
2026-07-30 23:59:52
6
biddywave :
As painful as this is to unpack but our parents didn't know better, they grew up a certain way and i don't believe in many cases they intentionally meant to hurt us because they made peace with how they were raised and they passed down what they knew to the best of their ability and i don't even think they understood the long term effects of their actions on their children. They likely suffered the same growing up and never had any therapy and neither was there any public discourse about psychological issues on the level we are having it today.
2026-07-30 03:09:48
17
HFD :
It’s slave rearing. A lot of our parents raised us worse than some people raise their dogs.
2026-07-28 09:47:40
20
vengefullpaella :
Also using religion to get you to do anything they want. I struggled a lot as a kid because I was afraid of "going to hell" or that something bad would suddenly befall me because I refused to do something for people/be obedient. Even now as I'm older and want to deconstruct, I still have that fear of my life suddenly descending into chaos.
2026-07-28 05:18:13
65
justheretolook27 :
And my mom still does this to me as whole adult with a family of my own. Me making a decision: “are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Yes, yes I am bc I’m an adult and it’s not about what YOU want for my life anymore. ✌🏻
2026-07-28 10:21:15
49
Cam 💎 :
It is so insidious
2026-07-28 03:06:36
45
nozipholokwe :
This one pains me as well. I’ve even isolated from almost everyone in my life bc I started getting resentful of how much of my energy was being siphoned bc I just couldn’t say no!😭
2026-07-28 07:25:11
46
Tina Simms 💕 :
Thissssssss and now that I’m grown I can’t make decisions to save my life 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 or I feel like imma get in “trouble” tf😅
2026-07-28 18:29:30
31
To see more videos from user @immateriaa, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
