nose :
I'm tired of feeling like I'm always there for everyone, but when I need someone, all I get is silence. Tired of being the person who listens, who gives advice, who's there for others, who remembers dates, who asks how I am even when no one asks about me. Tired of giving so much love and feeling like it never occupies the same space in other people's hearts.
It hurts to realize that you're important, yes, but never enough. That you're a "good friend," a "great person," "someone special," but never anyone's favorite. Never the first choice. Never the person they turn to as soon as something good or bad happens in their lives. I always seem to be in a kind of limbo where everyone likes me, but no one truly chooses me.
And the worst part is that you start to wonder what's wrong with you. What's missing. Why does it seem so easy for others to receive that reciprocal love that always slips through my fingers? Because I do know how to love. I know how to truly care. I know how to stay. I know how to listen even when I'm broken. But sometimes I feel like all of that is for nothing when it never comes back with the same intensity.
It's exhausting to feel like you're giving versions of yourself that no one would give for you. To see how you make space for everyone while no one seems to make space for you. And yet, still to stay, because even though it hurts, you end up getting used to being other people's refuge while having nowhere to take refuge yourself.
Sometimes I wish I could stop worrying so much. Stop responding quickly, stop being so attentive, stop trying to be enough for everyone. Because it's tiring to feel that the love you give always weighs less when it comes back. It's tiring to see how people have "their favorite person," their priority, their safe place… and to understand that you've never been that for anyone.
And yes, maybe no one is obligated to love us the way we love them, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. It doesn't stop that feeling of emptiness when you realize that probably no one thinks about you with the intensity with which you think about them. That while you cherish conversations, moments, and details, for others you're just one
2026-09-14 04:39:34