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Tuesday 28 July 2026 16:48:55 GMT
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Something I’ve noticed in clients with developmental trauma is that their emotional life becomes quietly organized around one question: am I being held in someone else’s mind? When connection was inconsistent or hard to trust growing up, being remembered, noticed, and emotionally considered could become proof that the relationship was still intact. So when someone’s attention shifts, it may not just feel disappointing. It can feel like you have temporarily disappeared for them. This is also why you can be very emotionally present for other people while still feeling chronically unsure that you exist in the same way for them. You remember what they’re going through, anticipate what they need, notice small changes, and keep them in mind throughout the day. Then, when that care is not mirrored back, it can create a much deeper hurt than the situation seems to warrant. Comment if you want a part 2 on some behavioral strategies I often teach my clients to work on unlearning this pattern! #hypervigilance #anxiousattachment #relationshipanxiety #relationaltrauma #therapytok
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