Jasmin :
But you better plan out life after 19, cause it really doesn’t end there, and when you finally live past that, you will not know what to do, what to study, how to spend your free time, how to find yourself, how to make genuine friendships, how to be alone without feeling lonely, how to heal, how to start over and over, or even who you are when no one is telling you who to be. You will spend so much time imagining that one moment, that finish line where everything stops hurting, that you forget the possibility of waking up the very next day and having to somehow continue. When you will open your eyes and have to figure out how to get out of the very same bed you died on yesterday, and trust me the pit is still there in knots deep in your guts, it will always be there. But there won’t be a finish line this time. Instead, the birds will be chirping outside. The weather will be warm. The sun will be shining bright orange through the cracks of the curtains you pulled close ever since you were 11. The house will be abnormally quiet, just like the night before when you died. Except this time, you are still here, you will have to face the morning you never planned. You will have to brush your teeth, pick an outfit and think about what you will have for breakfast. You will have to exist in a world that kept moving while you were convinced yours has ending. You will grieve a dead body that stains your bed, one that no one can see, one that can’t be buried or mourned, but eventually you will learn to sleep next to it every night, and one day when you’re out of that house, that room, when the curtain are changed and the knots are loosed open, you will be reborn into everything your 11 years old self imagined. Because your world didn’t end at 19.
2026-08-01 22:38:01