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Wednesday 29 July 2026 16:17:54 GMT
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“Well, at least I’m not like my dad.” “I would NEVER treat my kids the way my mom treated me.” I hear versions of this all the time in my work as a therapist. And sometimes that’s absolutely true, but consider this: What if the pattern didn’t disappear? What if it just changed shape? We can reject a parent’s behavior while still carrying some of the same relationship patterns we grew up with. And that’s what I want us to explore in this story. We’re not blaming the parents or grandparents, diagnosing the nephew, or even deciding who’s right. We’re simply looking at how family patterns can evolve across generations, sometimes in ways that look completely different on the surface. Let me give you an example. A man might say, “Sure, I lose my temper and slam things down when I’m upset, but at least I’m not like my dad. He used to scream for hours and throw things!” But here’s what’s interesting…. His dad might say, “Yeah, I threw things when I was upset, but I never threw them AT anyone. My dad did that!” See what’s happening? Each generation believes they’re doing better than the one before them. And in some ways, they ARE! But underneath those different behaviors, there may still be a familiar pattern of how anger gets expressed. That’s why it’s SO important to recognize these patterns, even when they change shape. That way, once we recognize them, we have an opportunity to do something different. And if something similar really is happening in this family? If I were this aunt, I couldn’t think of a better way to honor my sister’s legacy than to give her son an opportunity to recognize and interrupt that generational pattern before it potentially reaches her grandson. Sometimes breaking the cycle means doing something entirely different from what anyone in the family has done before. 💛 What do YOU see happening in this family? Source: Carolyn Hax, The Washington Post. PSA: This is commentary on a publicly shared story for educational and reflective purposes. I have not assessed anyone involved, I am not diagnosing anyone, and this is not therapy or individualized mental health advice. Thanks for watching! #boundaries #storytime #viralstory #HealingJourney #healing
“Well, at least I’m not like my dad.” “I would NEVER treat my kids the way my mom treated me.” I hear versions of this all the time in my work as a therapist. And sometimes that’s absolutely true, but consider this: What if the pattern didn’t disappear? What if it just changed shape? We can reject a parent’s behavior while still carrying some of the same relationship patterns we grew up with. And that’s what I want us to explore in this story. We’re not blaming the parents or grandparents, diagnosing the nephew, or even deciding who’s right. We’re simply looking at how family patterns can evolve across generations, sometimes in ways that look completely different on the surface. Let me give you an example. A man might say, “Sure, I lose my temper and slam things down when I’m upset, but at least I’m not like my dad. He used to scream for hours and throw things!” But here’s what’s interesting…. His dad might say, “Yeah, I threw things when I was upset, but I never threw them AT anyone. My dad did that!” See what’s happening? Each generation believes they’re doing better than the one before them. And in some ways, they ARE! But underneath those different behaviors, there may still be a familiar pattern of how anger gets expressed. That’s why it’s SO important to recognize these patterns, even when they change shape. That way, once we recognize them, we have an opportunity to do something different. And if something similar really is happening in this family? If I were this aunt, I couldn’t think of a better way to honor my sister’s legacy than to give her son an opportunity to recognize and interrupt that generational pattern before it potentially reaches her grandson. Sometimes breaking the cycle means doing something entirely different from what anyone in the family has done before. 💛 What do YOU see happening in this family? Source: Carolyn Hax, The Washington Post. PSA: This is commentary on a publicly shared story for educational and reflective purposes. I have not assessed anyone involved, I am not diagnosing anyone, and this is not therapy or individualized mental health advice. Thanks for watching! #boundaries #storytime #viralstory #HealingJourney #healing

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