davee :
Aki, I don't even know where to begin because no matter how much time passes,no matter how hard I try to distract myself, a part of me still loves you. Maybe that's the hardest truth I've ever had to accept. I thought time would make it easier. I thought one day I'd wake up and realize that the pain was gone, that your name no longer made my heart ache, that the memories had finally faded. But somehow, you're still here—in the quiet moments, in the songs I listen to, in the places that remind me of you, and in the thoughts I can never seem to escape.
There are days when I convince myself that I'm okay. I tell everyone that I've moved on, that everything is fine now, but the truth is much more complicated than that. The truth is that I still catch myself wondering how you're doing. I still wonder if you ever think about me the way I think about you. I still wonder if the memories we shared mean as much to you as they do to me.
What hurts the most isn't just losing you. It's losing all the things I imagined we could have been. It's watching the future I dreamed of disappear right in front of me and having no choice but to accept it. It's knowing that no matter how much I miss you, no matter how much I wish things were different, I can't go back and change what happened.
I miss the little things the most. The conversations that seemed endless, the moments that felt ordinary but became unforgettable, the comfort of knowing you were there. I miss the version of myself that existed when you were still part of my life. Sometimes I look back at those memories and wonder if you realize how much they meant to me, or if they became just another chapter that you've already closed.
There were so many things I never got to say. So many feelings I kept hidden because I was afraid. Afraid of being too much, afraid of losing you, afraid of hearing the truth. And now all those unsaid words sit heavily in my heart. Sometimes I replay everything in my mind, searching for the moment things changed, searching for the reason why we became strangers when all I ever wanted was to stay.
The hardest part is pretending that I'm okay with it. Pretending that seeing you doesn't affect me.
2026-07-30 09:39:42