blue eyes :
I need advice: I put my complete and total trust in my husband, and was the absolute last person to find out about his affair. And when I say I was the last person to find out, I truly was…he had even introduced his mistress to my children and swore them to secrecy. I found out through a friend who couldn’t stand to watch me continue to be oblivious to it any longer, and she only knew because my daughter confided in her about how guilty she felt about lying to me. He started this affair during the time that I was grieving the death of my mother. So I felt like I lost the two most important people in my life. We have been married for 27 years, and yes we’re still together. I’m trying to work through it, but I don’t know if I can. A part of me died when I found out, because I no longer completely trust anybody. Although I truly believe that this specific affair has ended, he still won’t give me 100% transparency, and I’m not allowed to have access to his phone. Which makes me wonder how many other women he is in contact with, because if he’s not hiding anything, I should be able to look through his phone. For reference, in 27 years, I have never once asked to look through his phone, not once, until this happened. Also, he has the pass code to my phone and full access to go through it at any time, 24/7, because I have absolutely nothing to hide. I guess the reason I’m vulnerably telling this to a bunch of strangers is because I need unbiased advice. Any thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated.
2026-07-30 20:09:29