@scott.austin.martin: The moment she says "that hurt me," a lot of men turn into defense attorneys. "That's not what I meant. That's not what happened. You're leaving out context." Before you know it, the conversation becomes a courtroom. The goal is to prove innocence. But she's not asking for a fact check. She's asking if you can understand her experience. Here's where things get stuck. They think validating her feelings means admitting guilt. It doesn't. Understanding is not agreement. "I can see how you experienced it that way" doesn't mean she's right about everything. It means you're willing to step into her reality long enough to actually get it. You can win the argument and still watch her walk away feeling completely alone. Because connection was never waiting on your explanation. It was waiting on your curiosity. The strongest man in that conversation isn't the one with the best argument. It's the one who stays present long enough to understand before being understood. Choose connection first. The rest can wait. #relationships #menscoach #communication #masculinity
I am a woman who loves your content. I wish I had known the reasoning behind our failed attempts to understand one another before our divorce.
2026-08-01 14:28:05
1
user9227443864720 :
You hit the nail on the head!!! A video I am able to send to my husband that I think will avoid defensiveness….so I can speak about the situation without an argument! Thank you!!
2026-07-31 17:48:23
0
Alejendro :
So, question time - I’ve done this a lot. Not always and not always correctly. It’s starting to feel or has, as if I’m always wrong. When does the chance at a rebuttal happen or do you just let that go? Another day? The next day? I’m finding that when I want to explain myself - because I like to fix things in the moment - just doesn’t work. The next day does, but in the meantime it just eats me alive waiting to explain how things made me feel, too. It’s such a fine line of hearing and understanding, versus giving up on me it feels. I want to be a student here and I don’t want to continue being me, so I’m all ears. Thank you!
2026-07-31 13:43:55
0
thegelfling :
for myself, if I'm suddenly told I did something wrong, I feel a bunch of feelings at once. all of those feelings happen so fast and are uncomfortable so I have the urge to quickly "get away" from them. it's almost like the denial stage of grief. for me the first step is to slow myself down so I can sense that I'm feeling surprised, disappointed in myself, sad that I hurt a loved one, and sit with that for a moment so that I have the space to feel curious. I think I needed practice making a mistake and having that not be emotionally catastrophic, lol.
2026-07-30 23:53:50
4
💋BEAUTY.IS.HER.NAME💋 :
Now that I’m very aware of my feelings and I could label what I’ve been enduring by him and this marriage through my healing. My husbands new thing to say to me when i’m explaining my concerns or feelings he says i’m just pointing fingers at him.
2026-07-31 15:05:33
1
Beans minus Pickles :
It’s tougher when they are an actual attorney
2026-07-31 16:59:10
0
Ohld ing-glish Bool-dawg :
Recently learned to be okay because I am very much not okay and may never be okay.
2026-07-31 07:29:27
0
Heidi V. :
well, excuses is just what comes out of my husband mouth, even when I clearly point out....unfortunately I'm married with an refusing to grow up men child
2026-07-31 17:26:58
0
Melody❌ :
If I could only get him to understand this. The second I make the mistake of saying “I feel”, he’s already done and out the door and I’m left with the feelings and then being left with no one giving a shit.
2026-07-31 09:44:06
0
Melody Johnson :
😍😍😍
2026-07-30 23:05:31
0
thatgirlaisha :
😂😂😂
2026-07-31 19:27:28
0
To see more videos from user @scott.austin.martin, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.