@well.guide: Judgment toward others is almost always a rule turned outward. If someone feels contempt for a friend who’s “lazy,” there’s usually a rigid rule underneath — I’m not allowed to rest until I’ve earned it — that they apply to themselves first. The judgment of others is just the rule leaking outward to protect the person from having to feel the shame of breaking it themselves. One tip: catch the judgment and ask “what rule am I enforcing right now, and whose rule was it originally?” The intervention isn’t “be less judgmental”. Instead, trace the judgment back to its source rule, and then testing whether that rule is actually true or just inherited (from a parent, a culture, a survival strategy). Once the rule is visible and named, it loses some of its automatic, unconscious grip — which is what softens both the self-judgment and the judgment of others, since they’re the same mechanism. #wellguide #selfjudgement #selfcompassion #cbttherapy #selftrust

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Saturday 01 August 2026 21:54:47 GMT