@elly.psychologist: Being constantly triggered by someone's behaviour in a relationship isn't overreacting, it's your brain detecting a threat, sometimes from what's actually happening, sometimes from a pattern you already recognise, sometimes from something a previous relationship taught your body to watch for. Whatever the source, your body responds the same way it would to any perceived danger, hypervigilance kicks in, and you end up checking, scanning, replaying, trying to solve the puzzle of what's really going on in the relationship so you can make the threat go away. The trouble is, playing detective in a relationship rarely resolves anything. Unless you've somehow caught someone doing exactly what you feared, piecing the picture together and bringing it to them tends to end in arguments, being told you're too much or too insecure, leaving you feeling worse rather than clearer. What actually gets missed in all that detective work is the information sitting inside you the whole time. The real shift is redirecting attention away from them and onto yourself. What is this relationship actually doing to you. Are you happy with how you're being treated. And critically, assume they're not going to change, that this is genuinely who they are in this relationship, not who they might become. From there, ask whether it's worth fighting for. If it isn't, the more useful question is what you actually need, and whether this relationship is genuinely good for you. If it is worth fighting for, get specific about what you want and find the right moment to raise it, rather than getting stuck endlessly scanning their behaviour and hoping it shifts on its own Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #relationshiptok #relationshipissues #relationshiptips #relationshipproblems #toxicrelationship

Elly | Counseling Psychologist

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Tuesday 04 August 2026 07:00:00 GMT