@the_control_code: Why is he worse to you right after he’s been with his friends? You noticed the pattern months ago and researchers noticed it in 1988 and spent forty years confirming it. In toxic groups the room laughs, the bar drops, and he walks home standing on the new one. When he talks about you, has a single one of those men ever said “that’s not okay”? #malepeersupport #coercivecontrol #thecontrolcode

armaniesque :

heard him chatting sht while on the game with his friends 🙄 “you know how she is” after saying something like I always overreact and am dumb

David :

you just explained to me why I, a man, have almost no male friends.

Lillian’sCat :

€100,000,000 :

And then after the breakup he expects his friends to give him emotional support but it’s all quiet on the front lines because that was their plan all along to sabotage one other 🤣

Suejoness 🍉 :

He loved and respected his buddies, not his family.

⚫️Linda Clambroth 🇨🇦 :

You always speak 100% truth. But side note, this room is echo-y. You can help this by adding more fabrics to the room; heavier curtains, pillows, a wall tapestry. You can also use something just during video recording then put it away after.

confusedgoose376597 :

ladies Clock in

JewelsSpark :

When we moved to a new town and my ex started developing a group of male friends that were drunks and not high caliber friends, I told him we are already having problems and this group will add to the end of our relationship. I was not wrong and this is why. His drinking got worse, the abuse got worse, his false entirlement to my body and free labour got worse, he cheated on me, etc. 💜

Willow Leigh :

This is exactly why if all his friends are cheaters you need to start asking some SERIOUS questions about him too🤨

★ Indie ★ :

Daniel sloss - X (his stand up show) details exactly how other men can hold men accountable to support women and gives great examples of this (while weaving in awesome comedy in the process)

🆘🇺🇸 🇺🇦❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 :

I would tell my now ex husband that I wasn't one of his guy friends because he would treat me so horribly

isaisa9934 :

I’ve never experienced this, thankfully. If anything, they came back really grateful and appreciative of me because they heard how crappy other people are 😂

user9093052150999 :

When I served men in bars and restaurants and over heard their conversations they clearly didn’t respect or like their spouses.

O’Hanson the Reaper :

this includes online spaces as well! ie: after gaming sesh’s/discord. it’s very strange that to keep his friends or access to that group it requires degrading/harming me

lucerosophy :

So it’s valid to say that how they friends are is how they’ll be… birds of a feather flock together… 😭😭😭

Amanda | Gen X In Midlife :

This MUST start early teaching our teen boys (especially dads) how to act around their boys. With my daughter’s boyfriends , I’ve seen so many boys act like a different kid than they do when it’s just the two of them.

TammyQ :

i definitely noticed this but chose to supress it

Ithilwyn :

That’s part of why I was always so hesitant to report to DCFS - I knew when they didn’t say it was bad enough, he would use that as justification for doing worse.

ghostgirlinc :

ohh yeah that makes since and im pretty sure all his friends dislike me so im almost 100% sure they are making jokes about me probably bad ones

Jean-Marie Hammett✍🏻 :

Enablers[.]

brookelynn.darling :

What about therapists who say they’re a feminist and blame the patriarchy and you leave because you kept questioning what they were saying until you finally caught them lying. I feel like she set a standard for abuse and encouraged it but claimed to be a feminist and was making fun of me for being in a dv situation.

❌ Minimal Mess 💫 :

I’ve been married to both types … and when I told my ex “you are who you hang out with” when he covered for his cheating friends, he got mad. And then he left me for yet another co worker he was sleeping with lol!!! But thank god he did because I have such an awesome husband now ♥️

Denise M :

dekoz23 :

Listened to men for 8 years while bartending...You're correct. They give each other ideas on how to be even 💩ier than they already were.

bethncur1 :

BLOWS my mind that women will put their men on a pedestal in front of her friends (especially if he doesn't deserve it) to preserve her sense of self esteem among her friends...meanwhile men will degrade and insult their woman to preserve his. Yet all heterosexual men want a woman...then most of them treat women this way.