chae_strawberry :
I've been dreading this thought lately 😭😭. Since as long as I can remember pa that I never truly have a dreamdreamm that I wished and wanted, and have only been navigating life step by step. Basically, I'm not that mindful of how myfuture would or could come up and be shaped by the younger me. But now all things come flooding down to me, the endless possibilities, fearing that I may die down my potential and opportunities just for a safe option to stay here. Kahit hindi pa ako graduate nyan ha HAHAHSHSH, like I feel like I'm living in anxiety of the future that I never really once thought. Motto² ko pa nuon go with the flow, kaya ayun na fefeel kong parang tangang tao lang akong walang plano sa buhay. Ayun identity crisis at di pa nga tapos sa college HAHWHWHWH, halfway through palang nalalampasan ko. Ayun lauf siya nang todo sa self niya. Ehhh kasi, I just realised that I really do want to live and leave, para makita pa ang kagandahan ni mundong godessamotherearth. Sillysilly me at ngayon ko pa lang na realize yon, yesssss everyone thought of that at one point and so do I. But like it's just in the back of my mind, maybe, inisip ko lang siya deep down that I'll never have that life o option man lang. Kaya ayun conflicting siya sa sarili niya. Ayaw tayo self, oh ano.
Sa pagrungtung ng 20's ka talaga mapapa ohmyghad. Things that I've think and said before na, ahh gagawin o iisipin ko na lang yan sa tamang panahon... there's never really a perfect"perfect" time to think things through. Ika nga just like procrastinating or cramming habits, that you need to start small, take things one at a time but have a clear goal. Wala siyang goal non eh. Kaya bulalang paligoy nalang ang damdamin at isil niya para sa kinabukasan.
But what if... I'm really just overthinking thinks. What ef, that go with the flow motto of my noon have some sense. that I was never truly meant to just have a fixed path growing up to oook up and deeam too. What if by going with the flow, I'll find what I really turly want and not just the surfaceleveltrendleveleverybodiesdoingitlevel kinda thing. Kumbaga m, I'm just thinkg too much to the point of being out of touch. Anxious. Anxious of the future
2026-08-05 04:00:12