Opallauryn
Region: US
Monday 03 August 2026 12:22:09 GMT
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emobaker :
You’re glowing now btw 🖤
2026-08-04 03:49:56
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Don’t bet on me :
When I split from my now ex husband I didn’t know how to classify him. He couldn’t have been a ‘good man’ for how he treated our relationship, but he was better than my ex who was emotionally abusive so he wasn’t ‘bad’. I can now say he was your ‘average man’. In that he is emotionally neglectful, self-centered, manipulative, immature, unempathetic. He was able to control me by being so pathetic and seemingly incompetent so that I took on everything. I’ve had to maintain a relationship with him post-separation and he is a perfectly capable person. He is none of the things he was with me. He just did all of that as a means to get what he wanted and not have to do anything.
2026-08-04 03:52:43
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Ms. Frizzle :
Side note though your hair looks so good!
2026-08-04 00:24:13
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Ohnothanks :
This is why it’s so important not to tell people to “leave them or leave us out of it” or “leave them or shut up about it”. That mindset is so pervasive on TikTok right now and it’s awful. Abuse is complicated and nuanced and often takes a while to see it when you’re in it. And then it often takes a while to leave it too. People need empathy and support not to be told to shut up about their abuse.
2026-08-03 19:01:59
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herglowdiaries :
This I hate it when people say “I don’t want to hear about it if you’re still with him” or “she’s exactly where she wants to be” from ppl who have no idea about the degree of Stockholm Syndrome/utter delusion this abuse puts you under.
2026-08-03 15:27:30
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Shar 🌈🩷 :
I’m three years out and there is still stuff that comes up and my now partner goes WTF and I have to do a double take cause it still doesn’t always register how fucked it was 🙃
2026-08-03 22:15:08
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BHA2010 :
Being physically separated shows you how messed up things really were
2026-08-03 18:08:35
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madison :
I used to say this about my ex all the time, then one day I was talking to my friend about him and realized mid conversation he had been stealing money from me
2026-08-03 14:41:41
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Alysse 🧚♀️ :
I remember watching that video and thinking "oh they'll figure it out" 😅 cause I went through the same thing
2026-08-03 17:20:44
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𖤓 𝔰𝔞𝔤𝔢 𖤓 :
The “I will maintain that to the end of my days” made me laugh because girl I’ve soooooo been there 😭 it hurts so bad to realize what actually happened
2026-08-03 15:07:39
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Reenna :
Ur glowing now 💖
2026-08-03 15:16:21
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clowninchief :
I felt the exact same way when I broke up with my ex spouse. It’s crazy how time can help reveal what you actually went through
2026-08-03 13:20:03
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itsfineconstruction :
It’s hard to realize when you’ve been “stupid”. Easier to accept that they are flawed and wounded people than it is to realize that they were just ok with taking advantage of you and you let them do it
2026-08-03 15:05:40
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krm :
A bit of advice from a therapist for anyone who is struggling with seeing abusive behavior clearly in their relationships: explore your relationships with your parents. Most of the time if we minimize and make excuses for abusive behavior it’s because that’s what we had to do with our caregivers to maintain that relationship. It can be really difficult to see the truth of our parents behavior without defending them, but that is often the root of our inability to spot it in others. Children are wired to protect their relationships with their parents and to view them as having good intentions because to see them clearly would be too overwhelming and frightening. Unpack the source of your blueprint for relationships and work on healing that and what you expect and tolerate from other relationships will shift as well 🙏
2026-08-03 19:54:50
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s :
It’s going to take me years and years to get his poison out of my mind
2026-08-03 17:27:08
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M. J. Johnson :
this was me and my ex. I held nothing against her until a few weeks later when I realized she'd been cheating on me. then my current partner, who had watched the whole thing, explained why she hated her. now I look back and realized how I was being used and how I was treated and I can't believe I let someone do that to me.
2026-08-03 14:46:39
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babigirl :
i left a comment on one of your videos asking if you still felt he was a good man, and i have been hoping this whole time it wasn't too painful a question to ask! I'm glad you feel that you're growing and understanding more of what happened :)
2026-08-03 13:34:17
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terfhunter420 :
we’ve been on the same breakup timeline and having similar revelations at the same time!! oh, neuroscience! 🤗
2026-08-03 15:30:31
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TheoraJones :
Lol, my moment of clarity was when my ex hadn't paid me his share of the phone bill and I called to see what was going on, the AT&T lady was like "so you're taking him off your account?" And I was like "oh noes but then what will he do for a phone," and she was like "yeaaah, so you're taking him off your account?" And I just snapped out of it. Because I saw it through her eyes and yes it was obvious. And it was the only sensible way of looking at it. I kept that plan for like 10 years longer than I should because I was so grateful for that conversation.
2026-08-03 15:25:24
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Metal Unicorn :
I didn't realize what was going on while I was in it or even a few years later until I saw videos of what other people were going through. then I found out a bunch of other things (or people) he did that I never knew about and realized just how manipulative and abusive he was. I wasted my 20s 😭😭
2026-08-03 14:21:48
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Panhia | Exploring Minnesota :
I did the same thing haha the cognitive dissonance is insane 🥹 now he harasses me w the other woman lol 🥴🥹. He had potential to be a decent man tho.
2026-08-03 14:08:58
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HumanTypewriter :
You deserve every grace given 💛 Separation and the aftermath of toxic and abusive relationships is a long road, and thankfully one where you can start to see the forest from the trees the longer you are out of it
2026-08-03 12:36:50
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The Glitter Fairy 🏳️🌈🍉🇺🇦 :
Ohhh I remember this 😬 but it’s so much growth! I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with everything but the HEALING I see in the both of us is everything 🖤
2026-08-03 12:48:22
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Lemonhead🍋🍋🍋 :
it was crazy that my ex accused me of never defending him when I did but he didn't do the same for me. after I left I told others how I was treated
2026-08-03 17:16:10
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Miia Heinonen :
I remember seeing that video and specifically having doubts about how good your ex must've actually been. But I also already have a lot of grace for people processing their relationships, their experiences, abuse they've been through. I know it takes time. I didn't say anything. I'm so glad to see you've already found so much clarity about what that situation really was. ❤️
2026-08-03 18:48:37
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