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In April, we had a disagreement. Her reaction was to threaten calling 911. There had never been any physicality in our relationship over 4 years. A month later, I squeezed an apology out of her. She said it never should’ve gone that far and it would never happen again. She was just upset. I bought the lie. But in the back of my head, I always wondered if she would escalate.
Fast-forward to July. We go on a 4 day vacation, have a great time, return. The next day she’s upset. A day later she wants to break up. A day later, she tells me she loves me and I’m the greatest person in the world. Four days later, she blocks me without notice. When I go to see her that evening, she doesn’t answer the door. 10 minutes later, a police cruiser rolls into her driveway to tell me that she had called them IN ADVANCE in case I came over.
Here’s my advice for anyone wondering if they should be concerned when their partner wrongfully threatens 911. Don’t blow it off. It’s a HUGE red flag. They WILL eventually escalate. Once the crazy seed is in their head, they won’t rest until it fully blossoms. When they show you crazy, believe them. And RUN (don’t walk) away.
UPDATE: 3 weeks later, we reconnected. First day was bumpy because she was “so upset” with me. I kept calm. Saw it as my one chance to get some answers. Next day was better. We talked by phone. I asked why she went that far. She said it was drastic self-regulation. Never should have happened. “I’m sorry for calling the police.” We talked for hours. Eventually, our talk/chat turned lighter, familiar. Us again. But it was an echo. She suggested a movie or breakfast. We picked a day. Two days later, she canceled. “I love you so much. I miss you. But I don’t trust myself with you.” We kept chatting sporadically, but I started putting 2-5 day spacers between my responses. It was hard. I’m not mad. Maybe I should be. I want to be done. We share blame. But she CHOSE to consciously hurt me. Move on. Try new options. Build me up. And shut me out. And I deserve to let her do those things without me. Learn my lesson. And let her go. I love her, even now. I miss her terribly. But she doesn’t deserve the version of me that comes next.
2026-08-09 11:00:28