carl buttons :
I wish I could be one of those people that are like, ‘oh well, never mind’ but no. I over analyse, I overthink. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. My nervous system constantly feels like it’s on the verge of a breakdown. I try SO HARD to impress, improve, be a role model, mentor, make other peoples experiences positive, whilst completely overlooking myself. out loud I will make it sound like it’s not a big deal, but inside I am on the verge of breaking down. One mistake, one weird tone, weird look and that’s it, my brain goes into overdrive. I simply can not forget anything. My brain will linger it, play it on a loop for weeks, months, sometimes years until I get to a point where I completely break down over it. I’m not living externally anymore. My entire life for the past few years has been me living through a clouded version of reality. I’m not even certain who I am anymore
2026-08-16 00:29:46