@lesliewellsconnectcoach: I cannot express how important it is to pray for a therapist or coach who can meet your spiritual needs post betrayal if you are a Christian couple who decides to work through betrayal. Things to be cautious of in my opinion: 1. Anyone who is quick to say leave a marriage. This is something I believe should be surrendered and taken to God in prayer and decided intentionally not a given. I have had many clients where God asked them to stay and let Him work on their marriage. It’s appropriate to stay or leave, and it’s okay if it is a non-negotiable for a person, but no one should be so telling you that’s what they recommend for you without consulting with God on that if you believe He is at the center of the covenant you made. There are lots of marriages that survive infidelity-far more than you can imagine and God is in the business of restoration. People that don’t believe in that should be a red flag. 2. People that don’t believe people can change. God is in the business of changing hearts and our past self doesn’t have to be our future self. People who cheat are more likely to reoffend-without intervention. But it is untrue that terrible choices have to become identity. 3. I fail to see any benefit in talking about character. It creates shame and condemnation which never motivates change and may even keep people in hiding or from seeking help. 4. Any therapist/coach coming from an unhealed place is a red flag. If there are obvious signs of roots of bitterness or anger from betrayal trauma that hasn’t been fully resolved, that’s probably not a great choice. 5. Trust CAN be rebuilt and self trust can occur with the right tools and the right help. Staying doesn’t mean you have to live in fear and mistrust forever. We never rush trust but while it’s being rebuilt, we can rebuild self trust, internal safety, and trust God with our marriage and to reveal when we are safe and when we aren’t. Where you missed red flags before, you won’t again. You can learn to balance discernment, green flags, red flags, and hypervigilance. You don’t have to live in a spirit of fear forever. This isn’t your guaranteed fate post betrayal if you make the choice to stay. #relationships #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #trust #christianbetrayalhelp

Leslie Wells Connection Coach

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Friday 07 August 2026 16:59:13 GMT