Zairii | 🇰🇭🇨🇳
Region: US
Saturday 08 August 2026 15:25:22 GMT
2843
156
28
6
Music
Download
Comments
mervtheintellectual :
honestly the first sign of disrespect isnt an accident. Men use what you do after that to see how far they can go. Shut it down immediately and let them know how important your culture is to you. If their reaction is apologetic and positive, move forward but give no more chances. If its negative walk away immediately, forget about his potential it will only get worse.
2026-08-17 23:46:07
1
itzmanders :
I grew up in a predominantly white area with barely any diversity, so I can tell he was probably catering to his white friends to fit in. But how he treated you had NOTHING to do with his culture or ethnicity. He was just an asshole. He clearly didn’t respect or love you, he saw you as someone easy to take advantage of. And not showing basic respect when meeting your parents?? You don’t have to be Asian to know that’s common fucking courtesy. I’m sorry you went through that, but he was probably getting shit from his white friends for being Asian and taking that frustration out on you. Doesn’t excuse it, but it might give you some clarity.
2026-08-08 16:01:31
10
TimG :
Zairii one needn’t have an understanding of the Cambodian genocide and diaspora or even being Asian to recognize one simple fact. You fell for a major league asshole. It’s not an Asian thing or a white thing. Assholes are universal. Don’t allow this particular one to mess with your head. You sound like someone who has too much going for them to let some jerk derail you. Focus on those who care about you, like your mom.
2026-08-11 19:52:36
0
YeahNahSon :
There are a few things I would argue are at play here that should be called out to answer your question. Happy to discuss in detail but in short (and sorry if this is all obvious to you already): 1) he has very clear internalized racism as many have said 2) you have insecurities about your identity as you have highlighted (which are totally valid/ok to feel… it’s something we all share as AsAms, no matter how “deep” our connection to our cultures) 3) you were attracted to him and (may have) wanted the validation to your Asianness through your connection with him 4) he knew how to manipulate both and took advantage for the power trip and to cover his own insecurities.
2026-08-09 14:00:18
3
Zairii | 🇰🇭🇨🇳 :
also yea like it sucks that this happened but i think hearing about similar stories or what causes things like this would be beneficial if anyone can relate to that. even if not, maybe people can stem an idea of what to look for in the future that they may brush past at first ???
2026-08-08 15:36:45
1
NBA super Fans :
internalized racism comes in many forms. even people who grow up and still live in Asia can think and behave just as bad as him. I'm sorry for what you experienced in your relationship with him.
2026-08-10 23:13:47
1
Justaustin :
There’s your problem, he plays LoL and Val. honestly how you described him is very stereotypical Asian dude from socal. He was Vietnamese and you’re Khmer? Culturally Khmer is more similar to Thai and lao rather than Viet. I mean we all eat the same foods. Linguistically, Khmer it’s more similar to viet but for traditions and what not, more closer to Thai and lao. Don’t let this one experience set the tone for everything else sounds like it was a him issue not an Asian diaspora issue.
2026-08-08 17:49:12
1
stephy 🎀🌺🪷 :
this is just my opinion but his behavior alone as a partner is a red flag, let alone his blatant internalized racism. the dismissal and disrespect towards your culture isn't normal whatsoever. maybe there was a part of you that felt you could open his eyes to the way he was trying to cater to his yt friends, but that's not your job. you will get through this.
2026-08-08 17:03:41
2
j. :
First off, i'm so sry abt ur mom, i wish u guys all the best! i grew up in an area where we were mostly either asian or latino. Being connected to culture is difficult here bc we're all far away from the actual countries our cultures come from and we only get to see bits and aspects of it from our families. I think the difference between performative and genuine connection to culture has to do with how one views their own culture. In your ex's case, he had a lot of internalized racism, making jokes to cater to his white friends at the expense of his own culture. Even if he grew up immersed in his culture, he was letting people trample over what he should've been proud of. He was okay with being the token asian friend in hopes he could become white himself. If he was genuine he would've defended his culture and took pride in it. Also he played league that's a red flag in itself (joking) where i'm from ppl don't play abt their cultures getting insulted, but in the next couple of towns over w a lot more white ppl, you'll see people bend and be more whitewashed to fit in. I think because you seek less validation from white ppl, you gotta find someone who's the same, as they won't undermine their culture to seek validation.
2026-08-08 18:44:02
0
Laodicea🇺🇸 :
you can't tell from interests / taste in music if someone is performatively asian. I can't really relate as someone who goes thru life with a critical eye and I'm definitely not an asian therapist but I will say, a lot of what I see in this new iteration of azn pride type of asian-americans is not about staying true to your roots but about trying to have cultural capital. Imho you gotta use observation. no flag is a 100% reliable indicator, you have to look at everything, and better if you can involve your parents (if you have an okay relationship with them). It sounds like you felt like you were in too deep even though you knew what you were seeing was red flags because the stuff you list here is just plain abusive even if you take out the timed he threw vietnamese culture under the bus. lovebombing etc can happen to anyone, so the first suggestion I can think of is to take it slow and the slower the better. my second suggestion would be to beware someone who doesn't show up as just a regular man first. maybe in your case you just met this guy organically, idk your story. but tbh the whole azn sadboi musical taste, raves, anime, valorant, it all sounded really cookie cutter Basic Performative ABB Wannabe so in case his original schtick was being the look-how-in-touch-with-my-asian-side-I-am thing, that was a red flag for being performative.
2026-08-08 18:33:31
1
ToneYo77 :
People need to keep in mind that those ethnicities in Asia are real the cultures, the values, the languages while similar are in fact radically different. Add individuality and assimilation to Americana and the nuance becomes even more marked. Asians are not like African Americans or white Americans who’ve essentially detribalized and now exist as just races within the Anglo world.
2026-08-08 17:42:54
2
coco_itz_meh :
In my opinion try dating a guy that has no friends. or 2. date a guy that only has asian friends. life's a journey sweetie there are ups and downs I hope u have a beautiful journey.
2026-08-08 20:23:27
0
flatnose_dark_avenger :
Performative tests need circumstances that makes him choose his ASIANESS when it’s at the highest stakes. Anyone can check Cultural Heritage boxes but still be WHITE Pandering or Patriarchal (Bobba Liberals or Uncle Tam’s). It’ll be entirely impossible to find someone who hasn’t been “BANANANIZED” by the American lived experience.
2026-08-09 16:49:15
0
B0b_A28 :
@Zairii | 🇰🇭🇨🇳 🙋🏻♂️ask: 'whats something about your cultural heritage that embarrasses you or makes you feel bad about your ethnicity?' and if the answer is anything relating to how they are perceived based on the judgement/value-system of white ethnocentricity (as opposed to, an answer rooted in deep inter-personal toxic family-dynamic inter-generational trauma), then I'd consider that a 🚩. They care more about their image in the eyes of witness, than of real internal ethnic/cultural issues. 🖖🏼
2026-08-10 01:18:23
0
MisterX :
seems like an American Asian thing.
2026-08-09 00:40:03
1
Calvin CC :
Internalized racism is real. The desire to cast aside the “Asian” in “Asian American” is also real. Your ex definitely sounds whitewashed. The poking fun of food/aspects of Asian culture you find important and the encouraging of laughs from his white friends is a classic tell-tale sign of a whitewashed Asian American. I don’t think the mere ability to speak in an Asian language makes someone “legit” or not. Asians (raised in Asia) and Asian diaspora will always think differently from one another. Overall it seems like your ex was definitely not a good fit for you anyway. Respect goes both ways
2026-08-08 16:11:29
0
athena_neo2003 :
You need to Asia like China , a country that doesn’t have US military bases on it. Learn to speak fluently and write. Learn about yourself. I watched many of your videos and it seems your world is too small. You need to make your personal world bigger, your problems bigger, your thinking bigger. Only by increasing your energetic vibration can you address the problems in a lower one.
2026-08-08 23:17:56
0
To see more videos from user @xoxozairii, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
