@lucasegolifts: ive spent my whole life giving. everyone just takes and takes and takes and i let them. for years ive tried to please others. to make people happy. to make people like me. i’m tired. i have nothing left to give anymore. to you all, to my family, to my girlfriend, my friends. i have nothing left to give. im empty and devoid of anything beyond surface level emotions and the pursuit of temporary pleasures and distractions. the things ive done to myself to be wanted, to be loved, merely just to be liked, have ruined me physically and mentally to the point i will never be able to live a normal life again. i know i have the potential to be something. to be someone. but i simply don’t have it in me and the harder i fight against it the deeper i fall into this neverending sea of nothingness. ive worn the line out between who i am online and who i am within myself for so long i don’t even feel like a person anymore. i have no sense of reality. no sense of identity. no sense of what it feels like to even be human. i try to take things day by day, hour by hour, i try so hard to just make the most of each day. but every single facet of my life comes with neverending challenges that seem impossible to overcome. i see people daily that have it worse than me 100 fold and yet seem to persevere just fine, to even enjoy life. maybe im just weak. i’ve certainly been blessed in many ways in my life. i should be happy. i should be content. but im not. i never will be. i could have everything i’ve ever wanted, anything i could ever dream of, and i’d still feel this way. i truly think some people just aren’t meant to be happy. incapable of it. as far as i can remember theres always been something wrong with me. the way i think, the way i feel, the way i act. i should never have ended up in the position im in now where im expected to behave the way others in the spotlight do when im truly nothing like them and incapable of being that way while being true to myself and my values. either way, this is truly a miserable way to live if you could even call it living and try as i do to fight through it as the days, weeks, months pass me by and my mind crumbles in front of me it’s becoming more and more apparent i won’t be able to fight this battle ive been fighting for as long as i can remember for much longer

lucas

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Saturday 08 August 2026 22:47:43 GMT