lpt :
Pa rant pooo. Minumulto pa rin ako ng opportunity last month na hindi ko ipinagpatuloy. Skl, last month nag try ako mag-apply online as Instructor 1 sa isang university, dala na rin na may nag convince sa akin na itry ko daw since don din sya nag-wowork. I wasn't expecting anything pero after a week ng pag-send ko ng mga pertinent documents ko online, natawagan ako for demo, interview, and written exam. Sobrang kabado ko non kasi BEED natapos ko and if I get hired, I will be teaching college students. Given the fact na wala akong formal teaching experience, and the fact also na malayo ang venue ng teaching demo, interview, and written exam, 2-3 hrs pa ang byahe from my residence to the school. Pero at that time, I showed up kahit na nanginginig at hindi sigurado. Btw, may kasabayan ako, hindi ko na lang babanggitin kung taga saan sya. After that, I wasn't expecting na naman na matawagan kasi feeling ko I'm not qualified for that position. Kung baga, tinanggap at natanggap ko na. Pero after a week, nakareceive ulit ako ng tawag from the school na "I'm hired". Pinapareport ako agad kinabukasan sa school. Pagdating ko sa school mismo, there was a strange feeling na hindi ko ma explain. I was doubting myself a lot, and sobrang negative ko that time to the point na I'm thinking, I'm the most inexperienced and unqualified sa lahat ng faculty. To sum it up kasi ang haba na pala hahaha, hindi ko sya tinuloy. I let that opportunity slipped through my fingers not because yan yung ginusto ko but because yan yung naiisip kong solusyon at that time sa sobrang takot ko na magpatuloy. And na realized ko after, na baka ganyan ako ka takot at that time ay dahil I didn't fully trust God na sasamahan nya ako sa journey ko na yun. Wala akong maisip during those moments na rason upang magpatuloy, so I ended up letting that opportunity go. Up until now, minumulto pa rin ako. I'm curious what version of myself will I discover if I chose to continue? Nakakapanghinayang at the same time I'm starting to question my abilities as a person.
2026-09-08 13:37:41