@narcfamilies: Hi, it's Juliana! I'd like you to think about this like a thermostat. If you set it to 70 degrees, you expect it to remain at 70 degrees. Why? Because 70 degrees is comfortable for you. And the only way that will change is if you go mess with the settings. Many narcissistic parents view their children the same way. They put you in this box: – You're the problem. – You're the one who can do no wrong. – You're the one nobody really notices. – You're the one who's always expected to help. – You're the one responsible for keeping everyone happy. Not because you are those things. But because having you in that role benefits them in one way or another. And they expect you to stay in it until they decide otherwise. So it's really common for them to have no idea who you actually are. (or have an idea who you are but refuse to acknowledge it) Because when they put you in a role, it creates a version of you in their head. And they interact with that version instead of keeping up with who you actually are. Because just like you wouldn't expect the thermostat to change on its own... They don't expect you to change on your own. So you can grow, change, develop new interests, and become an entirely different person... But none of that necessarily changes how they see you. Because that’s not the “setting” they left you on. If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me. My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us. To your healing, Juliana ❤️‍🩹

Narcissistic Families

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Monday 10 August 2026 03:17:54 GMT