Joshua :
First and foremost, congratulations on 400K. And what your friend did for you was beautiful. That kind of thoughtfulness deserves to be appreciated.
But ladies, I say this with respect: stop using friendships as a measuring stick for romantic relationships. You can absolutely take qualities from a friendship thoughtfulness, loyalty, support, consideration,and require those qualities in a partner. But the relationships themselves are not interchangeable.
Your friend gets to love you strictly as your friend. She doesn't have to navigate you as a romantic partner. She isn't building a household with you, negotiating finances, intimacy, exclusivity, children, long-term decisions, romantic expectations, disagreements, and all the other responsibilities that can come with actually sharing a life with someone.
Think about it in reverse. If a man said, “My boys never complain when I work late, never question how I spend my money, never expect dates or romance, and they're always happy to see me. This is why I'm single,” women would immediately tell him, “Your friends aren't your girlfriend.” And they'd be absolutely right.
So appreciate what your friend did. It was beautiful. And absolutely look for a man who is thoughtful and supportive. But don't confuse “I want a partner with the good qualities my friend has” with “My partner should relate to me the way my friend does.”
Those aren't the same standard, because a friendship gets to experience you as a friend. A relationship has to experience all of you as a partner.
2026-08-11 22:57:19