I thought it was... I thought getting those three letters would finally fill the emptiness I had been carrying for so long. I thought passing my first board exam, earning my first PRC license, and finally taking my Professional Education units would somehow quiet the questions in my head. And for a while, they did. But when I finally had those three letters after my name, I realized something I had been trying so hard not to admit: It was never really about the three letters after my name. It has always been about the four letters before it. ENGR. I remember ranting to my best friend about how I was still in a deep existential crisis despite everything I had achieved. I had passed a board exam. I had earned a professional license. I had enrolled in Professional Education. Things I once prayed for, worked for, and thought would finally make me feel fulfilled. But somehow, there was still this emptiness. Still this longing. Still this feeling that something was missing. And maybe that's what made me so exhausted. I kept asking myself, “Why am I still feeling this way? What else could I possibly want?” I had achieved things that were supposed to make me happy. I was grateful. I still am. I know how blessed I am to have reached this far. But deep down, there was still one dream that refused to leave me alone. ENGR. The four letters I thought I had already made peace with losing. The four letters I tried to replace with another achievement, another license, another milestone. But perhaps that's why I have been feeling so burnt out, so lost, and so stuck in this existential crisis. Because I wasn't really searching for another achievement. I was still searching for the dream I once convinced myself to let go of. And maybe passing that first board exam didn't make the longing disappear. Maybe it made me realize just how much I still want the one thing I thought I could live without. The three letters after my name gave me proof that I am capable. But the four letters before my name... Maybe those are the ones my heart has been waiting for all along. ENGR./ENGINEER And maybe that's why, despite everything I've already achieved, I still feel like I'm not done yet. #boardexam #boardpasser #civilengineering #engineering #lpt - @hesraed