@narcfamilies: Hi, it's Juliana! Imagine your arm decided to detach from your body and start living its own life. Would you be okay with that? Probably not. Why? Because it's YOUR arm! It doesn't get to be independent. It's supposed to go where you go and do what you want it to do. And that's kind of what's going on here. Your narcissistic parent doesn't really view you as a separate person. You're more of an extension of them. So just like you wouldn't be okay if your arm tried living its own life... They're not okay with you becoming more independent. So if you say something like: “I'm going to get my own phone plan.” One of the ways they'll try to stop that from happening is by "helping." “Don't be ridiculous. Stay on ours. Why waste the money?” Sounds generous. But now there's something keeping you dependent on them. So if you set a boundary or do something else they don't like... They have something they can hold over your head: “If you're going to ignore me, maybe I should cancel your phone.” And the same thing can happen with: – Money. – Tuition. – Housing. – Cars. – Insurance. – Childcare. – Jobs. Because the goal isn't to help you become an independent adult. It's to keep you dependent, or at the very least, compliant for as long as they can. If you need someone to talk to about all of this, you can always send me a DM or schedule a session with me. My team and I help people heal from narcissistic abuse, and many of us have experienced it ourselves, so we're here if you need us. To your healing, Juliana ❤️‍🩹

Narcissistic Families

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Wednesday 12 August 2026 01:01:43 GMT