And that cycle is exhausting in a way that's really hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. One small shift in their energy and your whole body responds. Your stomach drops, your appetite disappears, you can't focus, you can't settle. And then the moment they smile at you or say something reassuring, it's like you can breathe again. But here's what's actually happening. Your nervous system has outsourced your sense of safety to another person. So when they seem okay, you feel okay. And when they don't, you don't. Their mood has become the weather and you're just living in it. This is one of the most common signs of anxious attachment - and it makes complete sense when you understand where it comes from. If you grew up in an environment where someone else's mood determined whether you were safe, loved, or okay, your nervous system learned to constantly monitor the people around you. It became a survival skill. The problem is you're still using that survival skill in your adult relationships, even when you're not in danger. So here's what to start practising. The next time their mood shifts and you feel that familiar drop in your stomach, instead of immediately reaching for reassurance, ask yourself: "is something actually wrong, or does uncertainty just feel unbearable right now?" Then do one small thing to regulate yourself before you do anything else. A walk, some water, a few deep breaths. Something that brings you back into your own body, because right now you're living in theirs. The goal isn't to stop caring about your partner. It's to build enough internal safety that their bad day doesn't have to become your crisis. That's exactly why I created my workbook: Peace Over Panic. To help you understand your triggers, calm the spirals and finally feel more secure in yourself, whether they're beside you or not. 🩷 Comment PEACE and I'll send you the link to the PDF version of my guide. #anxiousattachment #relationshipanxiety #attachmentstyles #abandonmentwound #anxiousattachmentstyle - @beccasday