nessiasor :
This is discipline, not abuse.
There is an important distinction that people seem to be missing.
The mother did not hit her daughter, threaten her, or physically harm her. She addressed the behavior, reminded her of the responsibilities they had already discussed, and imposed a consequence connected to something the teenager clearly valued.
The message was essentially: “You chose to prioritize being pretty over doing what you were expected to do. Because you did not meet those expectations, you lose that privilege.”
That is discipline. Parents are allowed to set expectations and remove privileges when those expectations are not met.
And yes, the daughter may have felt embarrassed or humiliated because her hair changed. Feeling humiliated by a consequence does not automatically make the consequence abuse. A consequence can cause disappointment, embarrassment, or frustration without the parent intending to emotionally abuse the child. What matters is the parent’s intent, the nature of the consequence, whether the child was physically harmed, and whether the parent used humiliation or degradation as the purpose of the punishment.
We also need to stop labeling every parenting decision we disagree with as abuse. Discipline is supposed to teach accountability. Abuse is about harm, mistreatment, or using power to hurt or degrade a child. Those are not automatically the same thing.
2026-08-15 02:44:34