loudly.leo
Region: US
Monday 17 August 2026 12:22:11 GMT
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Jazmyn :
As soon as we became official here come the monthly break up’s and constant drama.
2026-08-17 16:11:16
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chloemoffett755 :
And I heard someone say, if you leave at the first red flag you seem like you’re overreacting 🫠
2026-08-18 02:11:55
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Lori :
That is Truth & On Point. It does develop over time. It Doesn't Happen Overnight.
2026-08-17 20:47:41
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Diana Ramos :
Also being able to recognize red flags is NOT common sense. It is an acquired skill. Especially as women we are socialized to appease, push ourselves down, and that our intuition is just anxiety. For women to tell other women to just “pick better men; just leave” it’s NOT ALWAYS THAT SIMPLE especially for younger women going through these types of relationships for the first time
2026-08-17 15:32:56
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kaesoren :
I noticed it’s at the 2 year point and/or a stuck point(children, marriage, anything legally binding) that people turn for the worse. And it is slow ramp up like she said.
2026-08-17 16:32:34
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James Elias Roth :
mine started getting noticeably volatile once we were engaged. the red flags were present from the jump but the web of lies and stuff started to unravel as they became more cruel very suddenly
2026-08-17 22:11:27
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Haven 💜 :
And it's so common for them to wait for milestones that make you less able to leave, moving in together or getting married or pregnant, before worsening their treatment too
2026-08-17 14:47:30
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TeekTalks :
My ex wife literally had me believing that, despite anything ever being overtly said or done about it, but she had me believing that my friends and family were essentially homophobic. Not in the loud and obvious way, in the subtle ways that communicate "we accept your relationship, but we don't consider it as real as *normal* relationships". Subtle things that left me feeling othered and not quite accpeted....because what else could possibly explain all the awkward interactions, or why other couples were loudly celebrated (engagements, showers, etc. Because it couldn't possibly be that my ex was a problem, or that I was slowly being isolated from my other connections. I didn't realize I was being isolated until the affairs started. Since the end of my marriage I have heard countless stories of things my ex said or did when I wasn't present, some things she flat out lied to me about what happened, and I blindly, and fiercely protected her because I really did believe these people had a problem with her/us because we were different. We were lesbians, they will never understand our experience. I'm still learning about situations, from over a decade ago that were just completely warped. I once thought I had a perfect marriage that suddenly changed and collapsed, but the only thing sudden was my awareness of it.
2026-08-17 14:21:01
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Trace 🏳️🌈⭐📚🐦⬛🪖 :
I found that for me there were issues, but they were manageable because I could leave. (He was my on again /off again HS sweetheart) We did this for years... then we bought a house, got married, and I got pregnant immediately (it was planned, I was 30 y/o.) That was the hook being set. Once I had serious skin in the game the abuse started cranking up. Emotional and verbal abuse. Isolation from family and friends. Not all at once but bit by bit. Financial constraints with only being allowed an allowance from my own checks. By the end there was physical abuse and constant marital rape. There were holes in walls and doors, and saying no was dangerous. I was afraid to split, it had to be his idea. And he'd made sure I never had the cash to go anywhere anyway. What a horror show by the end, so unlike the start, where he was my trusted best friend in school.
2026-08-17 15:19:54
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AJ :
I think there's a word for it actually it's called "frog in boiling water" syndrome. if you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water it will immediately jump out. if you throw it into a normal pot of water and just slowly increase the temperature over time it will slowly cook to death. it's the same reason cult followers won't leave their leaders. you don't know how bad things are until the waters boiling and your skin is melting off because you thought you were just in a hot tub at first. and people don't talk Abt how easy it is to get into an abusive relationship if you already come from an abusive household. if you grew up in a boiling pot who cares if this water is getting a bit warm.
2026-08-17 16:11:22
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Blue🖤 :
Yep and don’t forget when they go back to 0% and love bomb you for days and make you feel like it wasn’t that bad and things will change. EVERY TIME😭
2026-08-17 13:52:07
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Jasmin Bridges 💕 :
Someone asked me has any male had a positive impact on me….i was like “??? my ex did have a positive impact at first” and they were shocked like “BUT HE ABUSED YOU?!?” Like yea I know….but he wasn’t terrible and abusive from the beginning. He didn’t change until 1 year in for me. They are actually the perfect partner at first, then they slowly change.
2026-08-17 17:49:58
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Ashley 🐾💙🌈 :
I completely agree. For me, there were hints in the early oughts of the relationship but I dismissed them as “he’s having a bad day” or “well, his ex treated him poorly in the past so now he acts like this sometimes” … nope, should’ve listened to my gut the first time.
2026-08-17 12:33:00
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Mandielin :
once they think you have no way out, it excellerates EPONENTIALLY!
2026-08-17 15:23:46
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Evie (eh-vee) 🍉 :
I am going through this right now. My now ex started abuse AFTER we moved for his work and I was incredibly isolated
2026-08-17 18:08:16
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echoeffect365 :
That’s right
2026-08-17 18:31:11
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_m.a.e.v.e_ :
People need to hear this.. thank you for sharing your story 🫶🏼💖
2026-08-17 12:51:27
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Alina :
This is literally like my ex relationship, I only did get out because he left for someone else
2026-08-17 18:50:31
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echoeffect365 :
I do understand!!!!
2026-08-17 18:31:52
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Bianca Zeigler :
This is so true.. I never had him physically hit me but he SAd me by manipulating me to do it by yelling, throwing things at me, threatening me with his shot gun and so many other things. But I used to think it wasn’t 🅰️buse and it took for my now boyfriend to listen in on the conversations he didn’t think were being listened in on for about a month. I realized I was in a very bad position
2026-08-17 20:14:51
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M :
I was with my abuser for 3yrs, it wasnt great, but after 3yrs I allowed him to move in.. the remaining year was the absolute worst year of my life.
2026-08-17 13:58:49
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burning_brightly :
Unless you’re me 😑 he was emotionally abusive from the beginning (was very tolerant) and physically abusive very, very quickly.
2026-08-17 13:56:56
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Evie.Ghoul.444 :
Can you feel that way without abuse?
2026-08-17 22:56:48
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The Shift - Unmapped :
My ex mirrored me for almost 2 years. We laughed so much. We talked about the future and wanted the same things. Then as soon as I got pregnant with our first child, he dropped the mask. The perfect set up for long-term cognitive dissonance.
2026-08-17 16:43:41
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jen_early_mcgonigle :
My last ex he pretended to be kind and loved me and when we moved in together a switch flipped and he got far more violent. He made me feel and think like I was going insane. He did things I still cannot say out loud. People STILL act like I was stupid, he was just a really good liar.
2026-08-17 14:20:33
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