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@scott.austin.martin: You may not have a communication problem. You may have a values problem. Those two things can look almost identical from inside a relationship. You tell your partner that something hurt you. They defend themselves. You assume you need better communication. Maybe you do. But what if you value accountability and they value being right? What if you value repair and they value getting past things quickly? What if you value emotional intimacy and they value independence? You can learn every communication tool available and still keep having the same hard conversations, because communication may be revealing a deeper difference. Your values are not just what you say matters. They are what you consistently protect when something costs you. When you are hurt, do you protect the relationship or your need to win? That question can tell you more about compatibility than another communication technique ever will. #relationships #menscoach #relationshiptips #communicationtips #relationshipadvice

ScottAustinMartin
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Monday 17 August 2026 22:10:27 GMT
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Comments

lc56vs
cv56 :
Sounds more like a maturity gap
2026-08-18 05:56:32
2296
nathangibbs85
Nathan Gibbs :
You just described a relationship with an avoidant.
2026-08-18 14:48:37
1227
whatchaooing
whatchaooing :
my husband has always protected himself rather than the relationship. I am now doing the same. He thinks he has peace, but really he no longer has a wife
2026-08-20 06:18:57
231
carlosimooeen
Carlos Ramirez :
Communication isn’t creating the problem it’s revealing it
2026-08-19 13:23:53
515
champagnediet1
𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔤𝔬𝔡💦 :
The person avoiding the difficult conversation is the problem
2026-08-19 07:41:27
121
chroniclesofher
SHVNNV WUNNV :
Lowkey.. my values are: my way or the highway way. I don’t have the timmeeeeeee
2026-08-18 01:12:31
286
social.withpetra
Social with Petra :
It’s not just value difference. It’s about different perspectives, motives and especially difference in what is important for the person… difference in priorities
2026-08-18 04:58:04
398
eebuun_
Ebunoluwa💝 :
What if some people just haven’t discovered the art of self awareness? I also believe values are ever changing based on one’s level of personal development .
2026-08-21 09:40:29
1
rillonwheels
Rillonwheels :
Emotional intimacy and independence are not opposites/ mutually exclusive.
2026-08-18 01:17:01
498
ellelovestravel
Elle Loves Travel 🇨🇦🇬🇧 :
Communication is so useless without comprehension
2026-08-19 08:15:01
70
healingwithrafaela
Rafaela| Inner Child Healing :
The answer lies in examining the survival mechanisms we learned in childhood to manage conflict. We get so used to these “monkey brain” strategies that we bring them into adult relationships without questioning them, then expect our partner to tolerate patterns they had no part in creating.
2026-08-18 02:09:24
118
shevaanisen
Shevaani | Life Academy :
this is one of things I’ve been trying to work on with my partner…so well explained. Thank you. How does one get their partner to start their personal development journey if they don’t think there’s anything they can work on … 🤷🏻‍♀️
2026-08-17 22:44:55
180
akuvimusic
Akuvi :
You cannot change what you’re still defending 🔥
2026-08-20 22:07:17
1
yash_jajaja
Jazzmine :
just stay single y’all . that’ll do
2026-08-21 05:49:01
2
theewarriorgoddess
TheeWarriorGoddess :
Baltimore!!
2026-08-20 01:14:43
0
hauzofbleu
HAUZ OF BLEU | Bags in Ph📍 :
What I needed to hear 🥰
2026-08-21 09:11:17
0
deena.holz
deena.holz :
Wow! Thats so wise! Thank you for opening my eyes
2026-08-20 08:54:16
2
uwnduehwowbfownsjciw
. :
It's communicate to understand. You can communicate all you want but if the person doesnt understand you, it goes nowhere.
2026-08-18 12:55:43
46
ancient.puffling
ubbsi dubbsi :
Unregulated nervous system and negative unconscious beliefs about yourself make you reactive, needy and hurt.. If people would do the inner work they'd know how to value the person their with
2026-08-18 15:26:01
25
leolasoul4
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲.˚⊹.🐚₊˚𖦹⋆ :
So learn your potential partners values first..got it
2026-08-18 14:50:36
43
vanizonepurple
Rosa_@123 :
Is there men out there with this level of value and communication? Serious question.
2026-08-18 07:25:17
69
user6936342741274
urface :
I don’t think this is always a reflection of values. (I love your take btw and this topic) but to challenge your idea or more so share my own thoughts on the matter, I think this imbalance is simply just one person who is less emotionally aware than the other. I think that if light was shown on what they were prioritizing in conflict (usually just like you said, protecting how they already see themselves) they would adjust consciously to align with their actual values. Food for thought! I appreciate your perspective!
2026-08-19 02:48:50
30
bonnisbee
Bonnibee :
It’s always him. Can’t bring anything to him. They won’t change, bc they don’t care.
2026-08-18 11:08:33
31
sith_stitch888
Meg :
Ooodffff you did not even hold my hand bro
2026-08-18 05:28:56
51
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