@scott.austin.martin: You may not have a communication problem. You may have a values problem. Those two things can look almost identical from inside a relationship. You tell your partner that something hurt you. They defend themselves. You assume you need better communication. Maybe you do. But what if you value accountability and they value being right? What if you value repair and they value getting past things quickly? What if you value emotional intimacy and they value independence? You can learn every communication tool available and still keep having the same hard conversations, because communication may be revealing a deeper difference. Your values are not just what you say matters. They are what you consistently protect when something costs you. When you are hurt, do you protect the relationship or your need to win? That question can tell you more about compatibility than another communication technique ever will. #relationships #menscoach #relationshiptips #communicationtips #relationshipadvice
You just described a relationship with an avoidant.
2026-08-18 14:48:37
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whatchaooing :
my husband has always protected himself rather than the relationship. I am now doing the same. He thinks he has peace, but really he no longer has a wife
2026-08-20 06:18:57
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Carlos Ramirez :
Communication isn’t creating the problem it’s revealing it
2026-08-19 13:23:53
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𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔤𝔬𝔡💦 :
The person avoiding the difficult conversation is the problem
2026-08-19 07:41:27
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SHVNNV WUNNV :
Lowkey.. my values are: my way or the highway way. I don’t have the timmeeeeeee
2026-08-18 01:12:31
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Social with Petra :
It’s not just value difference. It’s about different perspectives, motives and especially difference in what is important for the person… difference in priorities
2026-08-18 04:58:04
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Ebunoluwa💝 :
What if some people just haven’t discovered the art of self awareness? I also believe values are ever changing based on one’s level of personal development .
2026-08-21 09:40:29
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Rillonwheels :
Emotional intimacy and independence are not opposites/ mutually exclusive.
2026-08-18 01:17:01
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Elle Loves Travel 🇨🇦🇬🇧 :
Communication is so useless without comprehension
2026-08-19 08:15:01
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Rafaela| Inner Child Healing :
The answer lies in examining the survival mechanisms we learned in childhood to manage conflict. We get so used to these “monkey brain” strategies that we bring them into adult relationships without questioning them, then expect our partner to tolerate patterns they had no part in creating.
2026-08-18 02:09:24
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Shevaani | Life Academy :
this is one of things I’ve been trying to work on with my partner…so well explained. Thank you. How does one get their partner to start their personal development journey if they don’t think there’s anything they can work on … 🤷🏻♀️
2026-08-17 22:44:55
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Akuvi :
You cannot change what you’re still defending 🔥
2026-08-20 22:07:17
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Jazzmine :
just stay single y’all . that’ll do
2026-08-21 05:49:01
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TheeWarriorGoddess :
Baltimore!!
2026-08-20 01:14:43
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HAUZ OF BLEU | Bags in Ph📍 :
What I needed to hear 🥰
2026-08-21 09:11:17
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deena.holz :
Wow! Thats so wise! Thank you for opening my eyes
2026-08-20 08:54:16
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. :
It's communicate to understand. You can communicate all you want but if the person doesnt understand you, it goes nowhere.
2026-08-18 12:55:43
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ubbsi dubbsi :
Unregulated nervous system and negative unconscious beliefs about yourself make you reactive, needy and hurt.. If people would do the inner work they'd know how to value the person their with
2026-08-18 15:26:01
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𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲.˚⊹.🐚₊˚𖦹⋆ :
So learn your potential partners values first..got it
2026-08-18 14:50:36
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Rosa_@123 :
Is there men out there with this level of value and communication? Serious question.
2026-08-18 07:25:17
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urface :
I don’t think this is always a reflection of values. (I love your take btw and this topic) but to challenge your idea or more so share my own thoughts on the matter, I think this imbalance is simply just one person who is less emotionally aware than the other. I think that if light was shown on what they were prioritizing in conflict (usually just like you said, protecting how they already see themselves) they would adjust consciously to align with their actual values. Food for thought! I appreciate your perspective!
2026-08-19 02:48:50
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Bonnibee :
It’s always him. Can’t bring anything to him. They won’t change, bc they don’t care.
2026-08-18 11:08:33
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Meg :
Ooodffff you did not even hold my hand bro
2026-08-18 05:28:56
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