@sgtcutty: Asserting dominance immediately. 💀 Military life hits different when a routine piss test goes completely off script. Funny dark military humor relatable military memes urinalysis nco and miltok #miltok #militarylife

Dyinglegacy73 :

my fave is when I wipe then I show and asked if its clean yet lmao

steel_legion_fan :

I had this intel guy fill the cup up about half way(we only require like a fourth the cup) then he proceeded to to tell me “let me top it off for you” and then over filled it and it got all over his hands and I just stared in disbelief

Princess :

I had to take a piss test while on my period and I straight changed my pad right in front of them too after I closed the cap

Lil Tommy :

I went in after my UA and shit so much they had a medic come to make sure I wasn’t literally dying

Big Mike :

I knew a guy I served with in the army who every piss test he took, he took a shit first and then pissed.

fallen5274 :

I had peed like 5 minutes prior to a surprise tests so as im struggling to get pee out I ripped ass so bad I managed to make the guy watching take a few steps back

applebottomjanesssss_ :

we can’t even sit during ours so my tampon fell out 😭

ᖭི༏ᖫྀOffit_Oliviaᖭི༏ᖫྀ :

I’m so pee shy i genuinely would have to sit there with my eyes closed and imagine nobody is there for like 10 mins to do this. And that’s why I know the military don’t want me, cause I would piss them off at every turn 💀

Dredgen Bane 𒉭 :

“Hey sgt the cup full can i finish now?”

Emma :

Peak Covid I got ILLLLLL coming off leave the day before command wide UA. They had us standing in the cold outside the barracks waiting. 2 hours later I was sweating so bad but it was finally my turn - got in there STRAIGHT diarrhea. Had to get another cup for the pee, sitting there shaking and sweating bullets💀 observer just looked at me like 👁️👄👁️

🪷morgan :

“Test this for a change”

L O S T :

thought this was an original experience... glad it wasnt

maples130 :

I always have urinalysis on my period. My pee cup used to be tinted red like cranberry juice 💔

greenbeanleen103 :

they made me pee while i was 36 weeks pregnant and i couldn’t hold a squat for longer than 45 seconds 😭 longest three hours of my life and it’s ridiculous that they made me do that fr

Albert Einsteins cumwrag :

“I’ll be with you in a minute”

johnnmactvishh :

Literally waiting to piss rn 💀

Manchester :

When I ask what to do after that 💀

SJmoon1975 :

Did you wink and make kissy face because that’s what I did

GavinFox :

My nco is one of the “piss watchers” so when I did my ua I just didn’t piss in the cup and only pissed in the urinal and told him “whoops I forgot” when I was done as I’m holding the empty cup 😂

Alyson :

This happened to me when I was an observer. The lady got explosive diarrhea and I wanted to die

Blackwolf :

zawnerrr :

Had a guy pull down his entire pants and sing the Navy Hymm while taking a piss…quite an original experience

Kayto :

Could you imagine shitting just to mask the noise of opening the hand sanitizer bottle filled with clean piss

Sere :

As a UPL, you gotta go when you gotta go lmao. Shame it’s when I’m locked in a damn latrine with you though. 😭

Mjamie98 :

I always ask them if they volunteered for this 😂🤝