When the Money Is Gone, Who Has the Man? Afternoon. Let me have a slightly uncomfortable conversation with the men today. I have several male clients, especially men between about 55 and 70, and something keeps coming up in our conversations. Loneliness. And honestly, I keep asking myself: How does a man who spent his entire life providing for everybody end up growing old with nobody to talk to? Because when you look at his life, this man has DONE things. He worked. He built a house. He educated children. He took care of his parents. He supported siblings. He helped the clan. He paid medical bills. He paid school fees. He probably has a list of people who have called him at 10 p.m. saying, “Boss, there is just a small problem…” And somehow, that small problem always needs 3 million shillings. 😂 So he gives. And gives. And gives. Because that is what he was taught a good man does. You provide. And then tomorrow comes with another bill. Then another. Then another. Before he knows it, he has spent 30 or 40 years putting everybody else first. And somewhere in all that providing, he forgot one person. Himself. That nice shirt? “Ah, I will buy it later.” The expensive shoes? “Why waste money? These ones still have some life.” The holiday? “Children have school fees.” A nice dinner? “Let me just eat at home.” A massage? “That's for women.” Sir. 😂 WHO TOLD YOU? You work all year, but apparently the only person who is not allowed to enjoy the money is you! And then retirement comes. Suddenly, the office doesn't need you anymore. The company car has gone back. The medical benefits have changed. The phone is quiet. The children are grown. They have jobs. They have relationships. They have their own children. Your wife has her routines. The relatives who used to call you every week have somehow also become very busy. And you are sitting in the house asking yourself: “So… what am I doing today?” And that is when the loneliness hits. Because you have money stories. You have work stories. You have war stories. You have stories about how you built the house. You have stories about how you paid someone's school fees. But who do you actually have? Sometimes the children are not close to you because you were never around. You were working. And I understand that. You were trying to give them a better life. But children don't only remember who paid their fees. They remember who sat with them. Who took them somewhere. Who listened. Who laughed with them. Who showed up. So, gentlemen, I want to say something that may sound selfish. Please become a little selfish. Not the bad kind. The healthy kind. Start buying yourself the nice things. Wear the nice shirt. Buy the good shoes. Take yourself somewhere beautiful. And please, you don't need to take your side chick. 😂 Go alone! Take yourself on a holiday. Sit by the pool. Order the expensive meal. Sleep until you wake up naturally. Read a book. Go fishing. Play golf. Go somewhere nobody knows you. Laugh. Rest. Enjoy your own company. And if you have always wanted to learn something, learn it. If you have always wanted to travel, travel. If you want to start gardening, start gardening. If you want to sit at a coffee shop for three hours doing absolutely nothing… DO IT. You have earned some useless hours. 😂 But it goes deeper than holidays and nice shoes. Build something for yourself financially too. Save for your retirement. Invest. Protect your assets. Don't put everything you own in someone else's name simply because you trust them. Have a financial plan that includes you. Because your children will grow up. Your job will end. Your parents will eventually leave this earth. Your relatives will continue with their lives. And your wife may have a completely different life from the one you imagined. You cannot make your entire identity: “I am the man who provides.” Because one day, the provision will reduce. And you will still need to know who you are. So, gentlemen, I am not telling you to stop loving your families. I am telling you to include yourself in the love. You have spent years making sure everyone has a fut - @sandratwikirize