@chellthelight: 1. I was never taught how to regulate my nervous system / emotions: heck I was so disconnected from my body I didn’t even know what I was feeling half the time. For those 12 years I lived in chronic anxiety / survival. I had no idea what peace felt like within my own body. Growing up I observed other adults turning to substances to cope when “hard to feel emotions” came up, so that’s exactly how I learned to cope. I was conditioned to believe that my valid anger and grief were bad or “too much”. I naturally began to suppress and numb instead of learn HEALTHY coping tools. Instead of embracing and learning from my nervous system and feelings, I was in a vicious cycle of finding quick remedies to numb or “fix” what I was feeling. My freedom existed on the other side of learning and implementing nervous system regulation and coping tools that actually healed my mind + body instead of hurting it even more. 2. I believed I was unlovable and unworthy: I hated myself — plain and simple. If your parent(s) made you FEEL like you’re unimportant or “hard to love”—the two people who are suppose to offer that unconditionally no matter what—why the hell would you feel lovable? It’s logic. Does this mean our parents didn’t love us? Of course not. But it does mean we may have not been given love the way we receive it or that we didn’t have our basic needs met. My freedom existed on the other side of becoming my own loving parent and healing my own inner child who had spent majority of her life disconnected & love deprived. 3. Shame / isolation: Shame. 😮💨 Enough said. Shame is like gasoline on any preexisting trauma. Mix low self-worth with shame and you have a perfect recipe for keeping someone seriously stuck. The two often go hand in hand as well as shame leading to deep isolation. When we feel like we are a bad and terrible person because of our decisions, we hide.. and the more we hide, the more secrets we accumulate. Secrets make us sicker. My freedom existed on the other side of vulnerability, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness. Which one resonates with you the most? Is there something you’re desperately trying to quit but keep returning to?
