Drew Daniels
Region: US
Thursday 20 August 2026 21:35:50 GMT
21313
2850
39
181
Music
Download
Comments
M.k :
👏 SECURE ATTACHMENT MEANS YOU SEEK CO-REGULATION 👏
2026-09-14 00:03:28
159
spiritual.philosopher :
Because co regulation requires self regulation from the other person
2026-09-09 11:11:52
2
Maisy Jane :
co regulation works better than self regulation! Also, a partner can say “i don’t have the spoons for this” and we can co regulate with friends, family, and other close relationships. it’s wrong to depend on your partner for ALL your regulation needs. It’s normal to co regulate and have your partner be your primary support person!
2026-09-06 18:37:31
8
lighthouse keeper :
I am really struggling with this. My partner and I both had rough childhoods and she regulates incredibly well by herself and thinks I should do the same. She has trauma from her dad using her abusively and selfishly to regulate his emotions, so I completely understand why she’s had to take the route of strong boundaries. I also appreciate being called to rely more on myself and be independent, but sometimes I feel very isolated in my pain. It’s so hard to judge where the line is between an acceptable wish for human contact/compassion and a trauma-driven craving for someone to play the role my parents didn’t.
2026-08-21 02:30:40
105
gcsmissj :
The most healthiest relationship I've been in is co-regulation heavy. 🤷♀️
2026-08-21 05:40:18
38
ℝ𝕒𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕝 was here 🤘 :
co regulation and co dependency aren't the same thing ! this video is exactly the education the world needs this is phenomenal
2026-08-21 03:49:04
142
Wreckomended :
I spent 6 years too long in a bad marriage bc a therapist made me believe co-regulation was unhealthy
2026-08-21 00:44:51
32
derekaw :
Co-regulation can be a bonus, but it can't be the goal because it relies on something outside you to feel regulated.
2026-08-21 00:56:20
30
Maddie Sue Lantz :
I am an avoidant but trying to change. I told my boyfriend the other day “I come to you with my emotions not to make you feel bad or burden you, but I want us to work. If I don’t come to you, I will do process it alone by detaching. And every time I do that, I run a little further away”
2026-09-12 03:04:12
9
Rhys :
yes, AND, if you never do the work to self-regulate and/help your partner co-regulate, asking for co-regulation can turn into co-opting your partners emotional energy. Just like anything else, best way forward is to ask consent. E.g., "Do you have capacity for [co-regulation need] right now? I feel like I'm having a really hard time moving through this" etc
2026-08-21 14:47:49
2
Jay :
It's also possible to get this in close friendships, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. I'm lucky to have a friend who knows when I need a squeeze and who lets me know when he needs one.
2026-09-15 21:13:48
8
Nav Therizo🩷💜💙 :
See I feel like I'm not allowed to date or am abusive and selfish if I do so, until after I can figure out how to perfectly self-regulate.
2026-08-21 01:09:54
5
Sybertear :
Self validation is great, but if I get it wrong, how would I know if I only ask myself?
2026-09-17 02:27:23
1
anxiousfloppydisk :
Yes but it’s also overwhelming to be the only person the choose and they can never co-regulate by themself.
2026-09-09 03:37:55
3
opalchainsaw :
I feel like a lot of people confuse co regulation with reassurance and they are not the same, most of the time co regulation is not verbal as a way of showing the other person how to regulate (as I understand it)
2026-08-21 13:38:44
3
Zephyr :
It's important to have access to both so you can be flexible depending on the situation. Have several people to co-regulate with, not just partner, and make sure you don't feel stranded if none of them are available at the moment.
2026-09-16 19:31:30
4
Iqra :
My nervous system automatically attached to my husband without any active effort on my part. I sleep better, my anxious thoughts go down to zero in his presence, etc. But it goes both ways. I've held him as he cried and he's held me as I cried.
2026-08-31 02:59:41
1
Just_Lindsey :
I can’t wait til avoidantly attached people realize they are also co-dependent:)
2026-08-21 15:42:43
2
MissAfroInABathrobe :
imma co-regulate and then apologize for talking too much 😅😂 every time
2026-10-02 10:16:23
0
CasualSam :
Sure it’s normal, but unhealthy to rely on it. Ah in a perfect world😅
2026-09-23 10:54:03
0
アーカードの姫🪬 :
It is normal and people conflate it with codependency which is SO frustrating. As an autistic with problems with hyperindependence, I don’t just want it, I need it, and that’s not codependency, it’s accommodating my disability.
2026-09-21 09:36:23
0
🌈 Lorna May :
Ya’ll putting wayyyy too much pressure on one person. Regulate with friends, family, coworkers… one person is not meant to be your everything or a crutch because you haven’t healed or don’t have a full life.
2026-09-17 13:57:50
0
Szalone życie Wiktorii :
Your eyes 🔥
2026-09-10 11:48:37
0
Luna :
I hear you
2026-08-30 01:32:34
0
Rachelinthelionsden :
Yesss!
2026-08-21 03:24:38
0
To see more videos from user @drewwdaniels, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
