@biazxne: One thing we absolutely detest is the performative mathams/funerals

ꜱʜɪʀᴀ :

I was 15 when my mum died, so during the puri my own khala told me to stop crying while she was going around wailing to other people saying “my poor sister”. They forget that kids also grieve.

Sara :

The Irish have a practise called keening. A distinct rhythmic wailing to help process grief. Also English people have a wake where ppl r fed, other communities have drinking etc etc… do South Asian funerals need to evolve and have better regulations and respect for the grieving family - yes.

Shugufta Nasreen :

On point Tauba

leafer :

Omg my husband is Pakistani, his uncle was hit by a car and they were spreading the cctv video around family group chats. I was like, why do you want to watch that and spread it.

i_r_t_e_z_a1 :

THIS! the performative wailing I find so disrespectful, also I find it really horrific that people take pictures of the deceased that I’ve seen at funerals; to me that’s so wrong and should not be tolerated.

S :

Well said

B786 :

My mum died 3 weeks ago, literally had to beg people to leave me alone. After the 4 days at the mosque, I just wanted to be home alone with no guests, had to message and offend people to tell them not to come. Also, when it comes to food serving, alhamdulillah I could afford it, but I literally thought about other daughters who may not be able to, that must add more stress to an already stressful situation 😢

kawallnaz :

Have you seen, when they are perfectly fine just sitting there but the minute another rishtedar walks in, the loud howling and screaming starts again, when they hug one another. No tears coming from either of them, just the “HAYE CHALA GAYA” very loudly

Someone292910 :

Or when they start “singing” 💀 and saying they passed away but in a singing way

Wakey Wines :

Well said, my brother

s sa450 :

Food should not be served.

Englishtani :

Even in death at a funeral, they just create issues no fear of God whatsoever

سيد اویس علي :

The idea of giving food to people at / after a funeral is a Sunnah but not as the way we took it. The people who attend the funeral should make and prepare food for the grieving family for 3 days as the family will be mourning and they maybe not have the strength to cook for themselves. This is also mentioned in a Hadith The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Prepare food for the family of Ja'far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them”.

ma974 :

Ridiculous don’t go to a funeral expecting to be fed it’s not a social event. Show some compassion and sensitivity, it’s an extremely traumatic time for the grieving family

realist :

whats wrong with asking how someone passed away? I like your videos, but this comment is just irrelevant

. :

Its the mess caused by the elders coz they wernt educated on islam back in the days, its our responsibility to ensure these cultural practices dont continue, as soon as u hear of someones death get together n go help that family. Go pray quran n give the soul the sawab it desperately needs

f1_tee :

No food, guests should bring it. No 3 day sit in, that's just to cover back in the day when people couldn't make the 1st day. No wailing.

rukisian :

Your on point Zain I totally agree with you it’s all dramatic a complete show it’s a funeral you give your condolences and you leave respectfully showing your respect on your way out where does it state this is compulsory to do it’s a show down

H :

the elders think they know everything

Ibby :

feeding ppl is because they come from far

aquiet_mind :

sofiagul1984 :

I agree with the brother don’t come to our house expecting to be fed when we lost our mother I couldn’t even hold myself I literally couldn’t stand I was broken

zidane :

Why do ppl just turn up to ur house ? U busy but they expect u to drop everything u doing because they turned up.

Pearls of jannah :

At puri they r feeding them three course meals! Where did this trend start down