@mackzlifts: I cried making this. It might sound silly to some people, but if you’ve experienced an eating disorder, you probably understand why. I spent years wondering why I was like this, and honestly, I still don’t know exactly what triggered mine. I just know that somewhere along the way, food, my body, and the way I saw myself became something I felt like I had to constantly control. Years of putting my body through things it never deserved. Years of thinking I had to change myself to be worthy of feeling comfortable in my own skin. Years of feeling like I was either doing “good” or “bad” based on how I ate, how I looked, or how much I exercised. And then there’s the part people don’t always talk about, being “recovered” but still having the thoughts. Still having moments where your brain goes back to the same places. Still having to question whether something is actually what you want or just an old thought trying to take over again. I don’t think I realized how much of my life was affected by my eating disorder until I started healing from it. It wasn’t just about food. It changed the way I saw myself, the way I experienced life, and the way I treated my own body. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I’m also not going to pretend that recovery means everything magically goes away. Some days are easier than others. Some days I still struggle. And I think being honest about that is important. I’m still figuring it out. Still unlearning a lot. Still trying to have a normal relationship with food and my body without letting those old thoughts run my life. I’m really proud that I’m still here choosing to work through it because if I’m being honest there were many moments along the way where I contemplated if I even wanted to be here anymore. But now I’ve found purpose, Gods love, and a drive to help others get through the struggles they don’t talk about.

kenz

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Friday 21 August 2026 14:22:40 GMT