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I'm not asking u to drop everything me, I just want the bare minimum of communication and effort. I want to feel wanted, i want to feel appreciated. I want to feel like when u see my message, u actually wanna answer because it's me. And maybe this sounds dramatic to u, idk. Maybe u read all of this and think I'm doing too much. But these are literally my feelings. I can't just turn them off because thay're inconvenient, I love u. That's literally why this hurts so much. If u meant nothing to me, I wouldn't care if u ignored me. If u were just some random guy, I wouldn't be sitting here at night thinking about all of this. But ur not random to me. U were my first love. U became someone who meant so much to me, someone i got attached to, someone I trusted, someone i wanted to keep in my life. And I don't want our memories ta turn into something that just hurts me. I don't want to remember u and only remember feeling ignored. I don't want to remember how many times I waited for a reply. I don't want to remember feeling like I wasn't enough. I want to remember the good things too. I want us to actually be happy together, not constantly wondering if we're okayet also don't want u to think I'm trying to control u or tell u what to do. I'm not. U deserve ur own space and ur own life, and i respect that. Butt also deserve to feel respected in this relationship. My feelings matter too. Sometimes I feel like I'm scared to even bring things up because i don't wanna seem annoying or clingy. But why should i be scared to communicate with my own boyfriend? Why should i have to make myself smaller just so i don't bother u?! want a relationship where we can actually talk about things. Where if one of us is hurt, the other listens. Where we don't just ignore problems until they become bigger. Where we don't ghost each other. Where we actually try. And toh, I miss the version of us where i didn't have to wonder about all this. I miss feeling close to u. I miss talking to u without overthinking every message. I miss feeling like we could talk about iterally anything, I miss feeling like I was ur person. I don't want to have to beg for that feeling back.
2026-08-22 19:56:42