jo7iah
Region: CA
Monday 24 August 2026 12:49:44 GMT
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jo7iah :
Also the more you understand them the more they mistreat you because they don’t need to overfunction to obtain that understanding so they just take it as permission or you don’t have boundaries.
2026-08-24 12:58:14
204
Pr@jna :
i love this lens. ppl give manipulative people too much power. although i know there are exceptions. really, its just arrested development
2026-09-05 03:40:01
0
Mick :
Wait maybe I have some emotional immaturity but I love directness
2026-09-03 07:35:08
2
____gh_28 :
They love fatalistic language like “these things happen” as it removes the agency in their life. When my ex discarded me, she used fatalistic language as if the decision to end the relationship wasn’t a unilateral decision by her.
2026-08-24 15:57:41
82
Asher Jay Elle :
There are some people who can also be direct with others but do not appreciate it when it’s done to them.
2026-08-25 15:23:10
20
CatlessChildLady :
They thrive in ambiguity lol
2026-08-24 15:49:21
47
Demi 🥰 :
I don’t tolerate or entertain them anymore. I just grey rock or block! It’s out of my control lol
2026-08-24 14:24:55
62
Ash :
“The negative aspects of themselves need to be mutually shared.” This hits so hard. All of the “WE need to be better at communicating.” “WE both have things to work on.” “WE (fill in the blank)” for 10 years 😤 the last conversation we had like this, I said it is YOUR turn and yours alone. I have self reflected, grown in patience, reworked my entire way of being in a relationship to accommodate your feeble attempt at growth over 10 YEARS and not a damn thing has changed. Except you got on medication- and thanks to that, you aren’t as mean to me. Whoopee. The bar is in hell.
2026-08-25 01:17:43
5
Agent Uni :
“They think the negative parts of themselves should be mutually shared and not self managed” ‼️
2026-08-27 10:08:12
5
Nicole Kyle :
The part I hated the most was when she called ME indirect and unable to communicate. She said i needed to use DEAR MAN (a DBT) technique as if I weren’t already trying to express my needs in a calm way. It confused the heck out of me but I let her do it because I saw how upset she was.
2026-08-24 13:21:53
15
Life-long-learner :
This video directly addresses people who call themselves anxiously attached but see it as a condition caused by avoidants that can only be managed by avoidants changing their behavior. They take zero responsibility for participating in a dynamic they say they don’t want.
2026-08-25 14:22:28
5
another_unavailable_username :
"Protect them from them but you're not allowed to protect yourself from them". oh the anxious preoccupieds are gonna HATE that one. and I'm not saying other insecure attachments are better or anything, just that APs ESPECIALLY tend to really resent other people's self-responsibility and often struggle to find or maintain secure relationships because they view any and all boundaries as the person abandoning them, when in fact its just protection from the harm they cause by refusing any self-responsibility that doesn't immediately result in validation or appeasement.
2026-08-24 20:28:43
9
ܠܘܣܟ :
yes self accountability is a must
2026-08-24 16:55:56
9
Huh? :
It’s just so illogical and very frustrating to deal with people like this. They will literally mess up a good situation and then play victim and blame you for your reaction when they themselves would never take what they dish out. You could be the most understanding and patient person yet they will still villainize you
2026-08-25 05:15:18
14
Keisha💯 :
My dad just called it “Disrespect” but as an adult I realized his was slow.. my mom took all my childhood raising my dad.
2026-08-24 19:10:19
11
evieann83 :
💯 they want us to do their work and agency. if you address it directly you'll get gaslight or they'll hide. gotta know yourself or they'll try to become you.
2026-08-24 13:11:58
56
AMOR :
mic drop
2026-08-24 15:22:37
9
Meech :
I was so young. I wish I knew this years ago before having his child. This shit is so frustrating.
2026-08-24 13:28:19
12
sfleming :
I love these vids but I hate them cuz I get so mad thinking of everyone it reminds me of 😅
2026-08-24 20:43:54
7
Howdy Boy 🩷🤍🧡 :
trying to watch these videos reflecting on the actions of the other person and relating them but also while considering that I definitely was attempting to manage them instead of myself while also keeping in mind that they future faked constantly and repeatedly moved us towards relationship territory both in words and actions but also being conscious of my choice to engage with them but also-
2026-08-24 21:19:24
6
Tina the llama :
Yah the only piece of this I encounter is the literal opposite where they're saying they def do want a relationship with me...as soon as any kind of accountability enters the equation tho, they first start doing punishment-like things and soon after bail when those don't work on me. I consider it a win that it only lasts a few months
2026-08-24 17:34:31
9
andrena ✨ :
Does this same logic apply if they always start a statement about their needs or feelings like “you make me feel…” vs “i feel…”?
2026-09-01 13:33:12
3
Sphynx Thee Alchemist :
Literally describes my mother and siblings to a T. Ever since I was like 6 I thought they were so crazy and immature and off. I always had to be more mature than them... and I am the youngest... 17 years younger than my siblings, mom had me in her 30's.... they haven't changed almost 30 years later they deadass got worse
2026-08-26 23:14:48
0
Lebogang🌸 :
It's funny how everyone in the comments is the "emotionally mature" one😂😂
2026-08-25 02:18:18
0
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