@ashatan_records: Только с возрастом это понятно, что такое зрелые чувства. Что любовь — это радость дарения, это космос, вечность, искусство. Мой Hennessy ASHATAN Available August 28, 2026 on: Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, Deezer, TIDAL, Pandora, iHeartRadio, TikTok, Instagram/Facebook, Shazam, Audiomack, Boomplay, and more. #новаяпесня #этолюбовь #авторскаяпесня #русскаямузыка #ashatan

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There’s a statement I ran across that sounds like it contradicts itself: “You cannot change the people around you, but you CAN change the people around you.” Listen to that one again. You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people around you. It almost sounds like a contradiction, hit really it’s not.  The first half is about control. The second half is about choice. One of the hardest lessons in healing is accepting that some people are not going to change just because you need them to. You can explain yourself better. You can Give them another chance. You can Be more patient. You can Love them harder. You can Forgive them again. You can Have the same conversation for the fifteenth time. And when you’re all done, They may still be exactly who they’ve always been. That’s where a lot of people get stuck. They spend years trying to change somebody when the decision they actually need to make is whether that person should continue having the same access to their life. Listen to me: You are not required to keep giving someone a front-row seat in your life simply because they’ve had one for a long time.  History does not automatically equal healthy. Somebody can have known you for twenty years and still be terrible for the person you’re trying to become. Somebody can be really close to you and still require boundaries. Somebody can tell you they love you and still consistently leave you anxious, depleted, confused, insecure, or questioning your own worth. This doesn’t mean you start throwing people away every time they disappoint you. Healthy relationships require patience, grace, forgiveness, difficult conversations, and sometimes second chances. There’s a difference, though, between someone who occasionally hurts you and someone whose pattern continually hurts you. That’s what I want you to pay attention to: patterns. If somebody repeatedly disrespects your boundaries, believe the pattern. If somebody repeatedly disappears and comes back whenever it’s convenient, believe the pattern. If somebody repeatedly takes from you without reciprocating, believe the pattern. If somebody continually brings chaos into your life and then expects you to clean it up, believe the pattern. At some point, healing requires you to stop asking, “How can I get this person to change?” A better question might be, “Why do I keep giving this person the same access to me when they keep showing me who they are?” That question can sting, but it also puts your power back where it belongs. You cannot control whether somebody becomes more emotionally mature. You cannot force accountability. You cannot manufacture empathy in another person. You cannot make someone value you simply because you’ve demonstrated your value a hundred different ways. What you can control is proximity. You can decide who gets your time, your attention, your vulnerability, your energy, and access to the version of you that you fought so hard to rebuild. Sometimes healing isn’t about changing somebody else. Sometimes healing is realizing you’re allowed to change the guest list. You cannot change the people around you. But you CAN change the people around you. Maybe it’s time to stop trying to turn unhealthy people into healthy people and start surrounding yourself with people who don’t require you to lose yourself just to keep them. #healing #relationships #toxic #anchored
There’s a statement I ran across that sounds like it contradicts itself: “You cannot change the people around you, but you CAN change the people around you.” Listen to that one again. You cannot change the people around you…but you can change the people around you. It almost sounds like a contradiction, hit really it’s not. The first half is about control. The second half is about choice. One of the hardest lessons in healing is accepting that some people are not going to change just because you need them to. You can explain yourself better. You can Give them another chance. You can Be more patient. You can Love them harder. You can Forgive them again. You can Have the same conversation for the fifteenth time. And when you’re all done, They may still be exactly who they’ve always been. That’s where a lot of people get stuck. They spend years trying to change somebody when the decision they actually need to make is whether that person should continue having the same access to their life. Listen to me: You are not required to keep giving someone a front-row seat in your life simply because they’ve had one for a long time. History does not automatically equal healthy. Somebody can have known you for twenty years and still be terrible for the person you’re trying to become. Somebody can be really close to you and still require boundaries. Somebody can tell you they love you and still consistently leave you anxious, depleted, confused, insecure, or questioning your own worth. This doesn’t mean you start throwing people away every time they disappoint you. Healthy relationships require patience, grace, forgiveness, difficult conversations, and sometimes second chances. There’s a difference, though, between someone who occasionally hurts you and someone whose pattern continually hurts you. That’s what I want you to pay attention to: patterns. If somebody repeatedly disrespects your boundaries, believe the pattern. If somebody repeatedly disappears and comes back whenever it’s convenient, believe the pattern. If somebody repeatedly takes from you without reciprocating, believe the pattern. If somebody continually brings chaos into your life and then expects you to clean it up, believe the pattern. At some point, healing requires you to stop asking, “How can I get this person to change?” A better question might be, “Why do I keep giving this person the same access to me when they keep showing me who they are?” That question can sting, but it also puts your power back where it belongs. You cannot control whether somebody becomes more emotionally mature. You cannot force accountability. You cannot manufacture empathy in another person. You cannot make someone value you simply because you’ve demonstrated your value a hundred different ways. What you can control is proximity. You can decide who gets your time, your attention, your vulnerability, your energy, and access to the version of you that you fought so hard to rebuild. Sometimes healing isn’t about changing somebody else. Sometimes healing is realizing you’re allowed to change the guest list. You cannot change the people around you. But you CAN change the people around you. Maybe it’s time to stop trying to turn unhealthy people into healthy people and start surrounding yourself with people who don’t require you to lose yourself just to keep them. #healing #relationships #toxic #anchored

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