@mystical.yogi.mckay: Yesterday was a tiny ( yet massive ) victory for me 🫶🏼 I started using hinge as an opportunity to learn more about other people + myself rather than to “find someone to date“! I make that very clear on my profile, and it’s been one of the BEST things I’ve ever done. 🙌🏼 Someone I had just met + only spent a handful of wonderful hours with yesterday asked me if I’d like to kiss them before we said goodbye. Upon checking in with myself + feeling in my body that the answer was a clear no… I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t say “ sure “ just because it was something THEY wanted, I confidently said.. “ I’m going to have to decline, but thank you for asking first. “ It sounds like the smallest thing, I knowwwww 🙄 What made that different from all the other times I have rejected a kiss was the ENERGY behind it. ⚡️ This time, there was no knee-jerk apology or all consuming guilt following my expression of truth. 🫣 I felt empowered for recognizing what I didn’t want, and letting that be known 🤩 What I said was how I felt, especiallllyyy my gratitude for him ASKING first, so that I could transparently answer. 😌 He graciously accepted my decline, we hugged and said goodbye. ♥️ When I got back into my car, I noticed myself smiling ear to ear, realizing that might have been the very first time I was in a situation like this and DIDNT.. ( A ) Accept the kiss I knew I didn’t really want 🫪 Or ( B ) Feel immediate guilt for being honest + more concerned about THEIR feelings in response to my truth than my own feelings! 🥺🙏🏼 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 While it may look like a small thing, it FEELS like a ginormous win for someone with a history of both “ just letting things happen as they happen “ or feeling awful about myself + apologizing for something when there’s no need to!! 🤩 I have learned so much about how to more confidently advocate for myself since I started using this more unconventional strategy on the apps. It’s been FUN cutting out the expectations of it potentially becoming a relationship. Regardless of whether or not I like a person, I get to practice my communication skills and learn some new things about myself through them and that will always be valuable! I highly recommend this strategy to anyone if they may not be having that great a time going the traditional route 👀

🧚🏼 McKay 🧚🏼

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Monday 24 August 2026 16:09:12 GMT