@vanessaandxander: I used to think only about my partner’s experience during “socks.” * Was I turning him on? * Was he enjoying it? * Did he think I was doing a good job? I completely ignored my own experience. But I realized that none of my male partners ever treated socks the same way. So I decided to try an experiment. What if I approached socks like a man? Here’s what I started doing: * I assume I'm going to finish. Not "maybe," not "if there's time left." Socks isn't over until I've gotten there too. * I take my time. Men don't rush their own pleasure, so I quit rushing mine. * I move his hand. When something isn't working, I stopped lying there being polite about it and just showed him. * I say what I want. Plainly, without apologies. * I stopped doing it out of obligation. * I started asking for the positions that bring me the most pleasure.
