@thepottymouthguru: Replying to @nutmeg.pie🐦‍⬛🥧✨ One of the things I really value about these conversations is when someone challenges an idea thoughtfully enough that it makes us get more precise. Psychology is full of concepts that get flattened once they hit social media. Shame, guilt, remorse, accountability and self-compassion are definitely some of them. And precision matters here because the goal isn’t to make people feel terrible about themselves when they’ve caused harm. It’s also not to make discomfort disappear. We need to be able to face our behaviour, feel appropriately affected by it, care about what it did to someone else, and still maintain a sense of basic human worth. That’s where repair becomes possible. Keep challenging these conversations. Just know I’m probably going to go read the research. 😂❤️🤟🏻🌿 #UNFUCKYOURSELF #THEPOTTYMOUTHGURU #Shame #Guilt #ShameResilience

The Pottymouth Guru

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Monday 24 August 2026 17:44:42 GMT

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The Pottymouth Guru :

She makes an important point here: shame and remorse are NOT the same thing. Where I disagree is that adaptive guilt is just shame by another name. There’s a long history of research distinguishing the two, and that distinction really matters when we talk about accountability and repair. Also, judging by your comments, we’re going to be talking about shame for a while 😂 So follow along. I want to get past understanding what shame is and into how you actually work with the gong show. ❤️🤟🏻🌿

2026-08-24 17:48:54

Karen Staley :

You explain it well🥰

2026-08-25 13:35:26

Everyday Valkyrie :

guilt/shame, regret/remorse. similar emotions, different focuses.

2026-08-25 20:46:26

Just_Lindsey :

Absolutely. They coexist together.

2026-08-25 17:05:33

Kerry D 🇨🇦 :

❤️❤️❤️

2026-08-25 13:45:03

nutmeg.pie🐦‍⬛🥧✨ :

Research actually does back it. Silvan Tomkins - Affect Imagery Consciousness (vols 2 & 3) Helen Block Lewis - Shame and Guilt in Neurosis Gershen Kaufman - The Psychology of Shame Paul Gilbert - external vs internal shame, Compassion Focused Therapy work Robert Cialdini - “Transgression and Altruism: A Case for Hedonism” (1973) C. Daniel Batson - empathy-altruism hypothesis (the split that proves the non-shame channel exists) Bernard Williams - Shame and Necessity and Ethics and the Limits of Philosophy Lisa Feldman Barrett & Ralph Adolphs - 2019 review on emotional expressions June Price Tangney (with Dearing) - Shame and Guilt (her own path models work against her framing)

2026-08-24 18:00:45

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