@myths_and_stories: the news was broken, oddly enough, by a wildlife enthusiast who happened to have the "long-lobed dognar" enclosure cam open on their computer in the midst of a high-intensity comfy game binge. a post on 5chan's "/dognar/" board, sent by the anonymous contributor, contains the only known footage of the incident, reconstituted directly from the poster's browser cache. since then, the long-lobed dognar in question has been quarantined, pending further research and investigation by animal behaviorists who have deemed the sudden output of energy "highly anomalous." meanwhile, quantum physicists are femto-analyzing the footage, to see if dognar's sprint broke any known limits in our standard model. internet provocateur and cryptocurrency kajillionaire "barfyman362" announced this morning that he is planning to construct an energy plant with the mysterious critter at its core, powering "as many as 500 thousand homes, if you're willing to fudge the numbers a little." (from ig @ summerfieldzoo)

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Monday 24 August 2026 18:52:00 GMT