ScottAustinMartin
Region: US
Tuesday 25 August 2026 14:05:39 GMT
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wickedwren82 :
Part 1 My spouse is AUDHD and his rejection sensitivity often monopolized the emotional space between us. When I tried to communicate something about my experience, it could quickly become about managing his discomfort, shame, or fear of rejection. I spent years learning about his neurotype and how it intersected with masculinity because I genuinely wanted to understand him. I contorted myself into the most digestible version of my own emotions possible: calm enough not to trigger him, gentle enough not to activate his rejection sensitivity, and careful enough that he could actually hear me. But that created a double bind. If I was gentle, I often wasn’t taken seriously and it reinforced the expectation that I would manage his discomfort. If I eventually became withdrawn, angry, or overwhelmed because I was exhausted, that became evidence that I was the problem. This is why your distinction between capacity and containment resonates so much with me. Containment isn’t repression. It’s being able to sit with your own discomfort, shame, uncertainty, or rejection without making your partner responsible for resolving it. Because when one person continually has to provide that containment, she eventually becomes the emotional project manager of the relationship. That was my experience.
2026-08-26 19:04:05
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Jeff Beck :
100% agree but this requires a lot of faith for reciprocity.
2026-08-25 19:08:41
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Balby :
THANK YOU. I would love to take care of the issues you have about this relationship as well! But bringing it up when ive brought up my issues now feels like your battling with me instead of working with me to fix these issues.
2026-08-26 00:22:43
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Neo :
I gave her the space she needed to feel her emotions, and now that she feels more heard and understood I have had the space to feel my side of things, and it hurts. A lot. I’ve shared some of these things with her in a way I felt wasn’t putting the burden on her to solve, and it has been met with contempt and frustration towards me. I’m told to stop being so fragile, stop making every conversation about my feelings (I don’t), and that she doesn’t have the capacity to meet me where I am. So I have a choice, to either suppress myself and hope that she comes around one day to give my feelings the space they need, or leave.
2026-08-25 19:29:23
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Tiffany Nichole :
This is a solid advice for both partners. I have even found myself at times when addressed with something, wanting to highlight immediately where ive experienced the same. It is better not to do that.
2026-08-25 20:31:43
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adrianvillegas21 :
So should men bring up their issues at a different time or much later in the conversation?
2026-08-25 14:33:36
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neverb2late :
pls keep explaining about that. thank u
2026-08-28 19:08:44
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Royal Reyna & Rey ❤️ 💙 :
I want to thank you for stating your wisdom in such clear ways. Anyone can understand if they choose to actively listen to your words and hear the part where you state....What it is NOT! I wish all men would listen to you daily. Many Blessings to you Austin 🙏
2026-08-26 18:59:28
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Mak :
Thank you for explaining this so clearly. I’ve been having such a hard time finding the words that communicate this experience in my relationship.
2026-08-26 21:38:03
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user8328169834162 :
oh such wise words. I hope you give us more. thank you and God bless.
2026-08-25 14:17:50
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Bonesworld :
yes.. makes sense and then I avoid bringing me back into a separate event and that's where I get pushed aside... less events equals nervous system damage.
2026-08-25 15:28:20
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Brontë :
I wanted to DM you but it looks like thats not a viable option 😅 I wanted to offer unsolicited... advice? im not sure what to call it. your videos have been so valuable with me understanding my husband. he just bought your book safer. my suggestion is - if you are a Christian. giving allll of the information you give then tying it back to the bible in a separate video I think would reach so many people's hearts. all you say is biblical to its core. especially the video about values. thank you for all you do. its taught me so much. 🙏
2026-08-25 21:56:14
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2026-08-26 10:21:57
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2026-08-26 10:22:01
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