@nikaandemeka: This CHANGED my marriage 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽 1. I stopped making him responsible for every emotion I felt. 🫠 Sometimes I wasn’t even upset with HIM. I was tired, overstimulated, overwhelmed, hormonal, whatever and because he was my safe person, he got the brunt of it. I started asking myself, “Am I actually mad at this man or is he just… here?” That question alone has saved us from so many unnecessary arguments. 2. I stopped expecting him to read my mind and then getting mad when he couldn’t. 🥴 This one got me because I really used to think, “If you KNOW me, you should know what I need.” Meanwhile this poor man is supposed to magically figure out the conversation I’ve already had 47 times IN MY HEAD. I started just telling him what I need. Turns out communicating is a lot more effective than testing him. Who knew?? 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3. I realized I needed to be a safe place for him too. ❤️‍🩹 I wanted him to listen to my feelings without getting defensive, but then I had to ask myself… can he tell ME how he feels without worrying about how I’m going to react 😮‍💨 ? I don’t want my husband agreeing with me just to keep the peace. I want him to feel safe enough to be completely honest with me, even when it’s something I don’t necessarily want to hear. Marriage really started feeling different when I stopped only asking, “Do I feel safe with him?” and started asking, “Does he feel safe with me too?” 🥹🤎

Nika and Emeka

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Tuesday 25 August 2026 17:05:52 GMT