Discipline can feel so complicated sometimes, but it comes down to being firm AND kind. I consider myself very strict because I am extremely consistent in my discipline, but I NEVER withdraw my love, support, and attention as part of that. Withdrawing your love communicates rejection and shame, as well as taking away the tools your child has to truly regulate: a calm & connected adult. I want my lesson to land every time I discipline my child instead of their focus shifting to their anger toward me, their intense feelings of rejection/shame, or rage toward the person they hurt for “getting them in trouble.” Instead of “time outs”, I give “time ins” where I stay WITH my kids to help them calm down and process. The problem with that is that if I’m on my own, my kids who didn’t do anything wrong have to be left alone. So in those instances, they get to watch a show (we’re a very low screens family btw) while I go in the other room with whoever needs a “time in.” This has been especially effective for my middle because she has to deal with the consequence of not getting to watch a show on top of being separated from her siblings. We have also instituted “earning” one show at the end of the day if she doesn’t hit or kick at al and I’ve seen a huge decline in this behavior once we started this consequence (the video is a month old) and she has only hit once since then. My middle (seen here) has always struggled to speak when she is overly emotional, which is why she hits & kicks when she’s overwhelmed. To be clear, she only hits her older sibling (never her younger her one) and she has NEVER hit me, my husband, or other children. Sibling hitting is extremely normal and peaks around 2-3 years old, then drops significantly between 3-4 years old, and should stop around 5 years old with consistent discipline & once a child has better language access under stress & better impulse control. The fact that she hits is NOT an indication that my approach doesn’t work or that I should start hitting her to make it stop. It is working & she has gradually hit less & less ever since she started at 2 YO, and I am sure that she is almost done with it completely. Every child has a different temperament and my older daughter never had any issues with hitting, despite being raised in the same way as her younger sister. I am so proud of the progress my 3.5 YO has made and I’m so happy I never had to undermine her trust in me or our connection to get here 💗 Because discipline SHOULD be based in love & connection if you want it to actually work in the long-term. Make sure to follow me for a part 2 of our conversation and for all things gentle parenting & no-tears sleep training. Head to hhsleep.com or the 🔗 in my bio to get my Taming Tantrums Mini Guide for just $5! #momtok #discipline #parenting #reallife #momshelpingmoms Coregulation How to stop a tantrum How to discipline a child Parenting advice Gentle parenting Controversial parenting Mom moments Sibling hitting Consequences - @kendraworth