@coachbryanclark: You can’t repair a relationship by making your partner suffer through the same loneliness you suffered through. I understand the desire for them to finally be the one doing all the work. You carried the relationship for so long. You begged, explained, waited, tried, and got exhausted. But if they’re genuinely showing up now—even imperfectly—keeping your distance until they’ve “done enough” might feel like accountability, when really it’s repayment. And repayment and repair are not the same thing. You may never be able to make the emotional accounting perfectly even. So at some point, you have to decide: Do I need my partner to experience what I experienced? Or do I want us to start building something different together? #relationships #avoidant #relationshipadvice #relationshiprepair #fixitorfeelit

Bryan Clark

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Wednesday 26 August 2026 22:36:42 GMT

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Comments

Pixieamazon :

decades

2026-08-28 12:48:18

corkyshortney :

accountability usually sounds like punishment to an avoidant

2026-08-26 23:50:55

jersey_pomodoro :

My avoidant just walked out after 26 years of marriage, refused even one therapy session 💔

2026-08-27 20:13:00

Nurstink :

Ok nearly every creator on TT talking about this topic inadvertently reenforces their own point by telling spouses of avoidants more things they can do and WE ARE DoNE doing…

2026-08-27 09:33:29

SunsetSanctuaryFarm :

I've been told I'm avoidant, but I don't actually understand what the bare minimum looks like.

2026-08-27 02:37:00

TheSparklyAmy :

As the burnt out pursuer... I needed to hear this. thankyou. Though... what if you do reach back.. when they have those small moments of reaching out. but then as soon as you are reaching back, and they notice it.. they stop again? it's almost as if they do it just until I'm showing back up again, and then they pull away again. it's not even the bare minimum yet... it's just a small moment here or there.. I do see how hard it is for them. but I need more than that. it's never even reached bare minimum yet.

2026-08-27 05:33:56

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