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i think the weirdest part of having a baby is realizing how different the world feels in the middle of the night. During the day, motherhood feels busy. There are bottles everywhere, laundry piled up, texts coming in, appointments, dishes, diapers, people asking how the baby is doing. But at 3:36am? Everything disappears. The house is silent. The street is dark. Everyone you know seems to be asleep. And it’s just you and this tiny person who somehow needs you again even though you swear you JUST put them down 😭 Last night was one of those nights. I had already been up 4 times. By 3:36 I wasn’t even really tired anymore. I was in that weird exhausted-but-wide-awake state where your body feels like it’s made of concrete but your brain has decided now would be a great time to think about literally everything you’ve ever done 😂 I was holding my sleeping baby and didn’t want to move because I knew the second I attempted the crib transfer there was a 50/50 chance we’d be starting all over again. So I just sat there. And I remember thinking: this might be the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Which sounds ridiculous because I literally had another human being sleeping in my arms. But moms know what I mean. You can be needed every second of the day and somehow still feel incredibly alone. I grabbed my phone and opened this map I’d found. 831 moms. Awake. Right then. I actually stared at the number for a second. 831??? While I was sitting there thinking I was the only person awake in the entire world, there were 831 other moms doing their own version of the same night. One was nursing. One was pumping. One was warming a bottle in the kitchen trying not to turn on too many lights. One was changing pajamas after a blowout 😭 One had probably been rocking her baby for an hour. One was staring at the monitor wondering if that little noise meant “going back to sleep” or “you have approximately 14 seconds before screaming begins” 😂 And suddenly my dark little nursery didn’t feel quite as isolated. That’s what got me. Nothing about my situation actually changed. My baby didn’t magically start sleeping through the night. I didn’t suddenly become less exhausted. Morning didn’t come any faster. I could just SEE that I wasn’t doing this by myself. There were hundreds of tiny lights on that map. Hundreds of houses with a lamp on. Hundreds of phones glowing in dark rooms. Hundreds of moms whispering “pleaseeeee go back to sleep” 😂 Hundreds of women who probably felt like they were the only ones awake too. I think sometimes that’s all I need postpartum. Not another sleep schedule. Not another piece of advice. Not someone telling me I need to “enjoy every second.” Just another mom saying: me too. 💛 Because 3:36am feels a lot different when you realize you’re not the only light still on. #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife

i think the weirdest part of having a baby is realizing how different the world feels in the middle of the night. During the day, motherhood feels busy. There are bottles everywhere, laundry piled up, texts coming in, appointments, dishes, diapers, people asking how the baby is doing. But at 3:36am? Everything disappears. The house is silent. The street is dark. Everyone you know seems to be asleep. And it’s just you and this tiny person who somehow needs you again even though you swear you JUST put them down 😭 Last night was one of those nights. I had already been up 4 times. By 3:36 I wasn’t even really tired anymore. I was in that weird exhausted-but-wide-awake state where your body feels like it’s made of concrete but your brain has decided now would be a great time to think about literally everything you’ve ever done 😂 I was holding my sleeping baby and didn’t want to move because I knew the second I attempted the crib transfer there was a 50/50 chance we’d be starting all over again. So I just sat there. And I remember thinking: this might be the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Which sounds ridiculous because I literally had another human being sleeping in my arms. But moms know what I mean. You can be needed every second of the day and somehow still feel incredibly alone. I grabbed my phone and opened this map I’d found. 831 moms. Awake. Right then. I actually stared at the number for a second. 831??? While I was sitting there thinking I was the only person awake in the entire world, there were 831 other moms doing their own version of the same night. One was nursing. One was pumping. One was warming a bottle in the kitchen trying not to turn on too many lights. One was changing pajamas after a blowout 😭 One had probably been rocking her baby for an hour. One was staring at the monitor wondering if that little noise meant “going back to sleep” or “you have approximately 14 seconds before screaming begins” 😂 And suddenly my dark little nursery didn’t feel quite as isolated. That’s what got me. Nothing about my situation actually changed. My baby didn’t magically start sleeping through the night. I didn’t suddenly become less exhausted. Morning didn’t come any faster. I could just SEE that I wasn’t doing this by myself. There were hundreds of tiny lights on that map. Hundreds of houses with a lamp on. Hundreds of phones glowing in dark rooms. Hundreds of moms whispering “pleaseeeee go back to sleep” 😂 Hundreds of women who probably felt like they were the only ones awake too. I think sometimes that’s all I need postpartum. Not another sleep schedule. Not another piece of advice. Not someone telling me I need to “enjoy every second.” Just another mom saying: me too. 💛 Because 3:36am feels a lot different when you realize you’re not the only light still on. #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife

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