@thomasdavis955:

AliceInVegas :

Because despite being in multiple committed long term relationships with men I loved with my whole heart (and whom I believe loved me back), including three very serious ones - one of which ended in marriage, none of them chose "us". I chose "us" every time a compromise was needed, I chose us, and they welcomed it while letting me believe they were losing something too. In the end each compromise cost me a part of me to the point where I was a shell of who I was in the beginning, and they had grown from porter to head concierge and youngest invited member of a professional organisation in the history of that organisation, prep chef to head chef of a well respected restaurant, OH&S officer of a small concrete yard to a global risk manager, then GM of a geographicaly significant international port, a 2nd Lieutenant to youngest Captain to hold his post in his branch of the US military. Each move, promotion, dinner, course, and event needed compromise, and in each instance, when the time came when I needed them to compromise for "us", they didn't. The last one chose day trading over our family. I haven't seen a single relationship / marriage not hold that exact same pattern. So that's why. I've never seen a man choose the person he's supposed to love and respect more than anyone else in his life, I've never seen a man choose his "us".