When I was six years old I got yelled at for crying so I learned how to cry silently by not breathing while crying and it actually worked. And I learned how to make people think I have to feelings because when I cry people call me a crybaby. And the crazy part is that is not even half of my life. But I don’t like sharing because people think I only care abt myself and they don’t actually care.but they say they do. And I’m just so ugly, stupid, and weak. I can’t do anything. I failed for the people that I talk to. For example my friend is going to kill herself pretty soon and their is nothing I can do abt it because I’m week and can’t talk her out of it. Maybe is I just die I won’t be the problem anymore. I tried telling my family some of my problems but they don’t care. I’ve always tried playing and making my dad happy and tell him the drama at school and what they say abt me but he says he doesn’t care. And he is the reason why my mental health is bad. He has done so many traumatizing things in front of me too. All he wants to do is argue. And he is very rude and basically violent and mentally crazy. And I hate that I act just like him.and my family often tells me I just want to be like him but I Don’t I never have. I just want to die. My school and kids there are horrible. The stress makes u want to die.i have been SAd multiple times in my sleep. And now I’m to scared to even walk in front of my own family.my grades are horrible. I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I also have social anxiety too. And I try to tell people this but they don’t understand. I tell people that what they say can’t hurt me but it really does. I hate my life. I hate myself. And people say I only care abt myself but I only care abt other people mental health not mine. And I’m only 11 and I have been dealing with it since I was 5 years old. And everytime I try to speak abt something all they talk abt is my age. And I have been insecure since I could ever see my body. All people see me as is a sex toy.why am I alive?
2026-10-23 11:20:17
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